Mixed media artwork - 'Ghost in the Machine' by Jay Taylor

Aged 11-12, I was targeted by school bullies at school. As anyone who has ever been bullied will appreciate, it was a most unpleasant experience. Nobody seemed able or willing to help me. I felt isolated, afraid, vulnerable - a 'ghost in the machine'. In the absence of any meaningful assistance, I learned that I was going to have to 'get tough and fight back.' But in doing so (an event which I avoided for as long as possible, suffering various humiliations and torments along the way) my worst fears were realised: in utilising ‘the dark side’, I unleashed a mighty destructive force which went on to almost ruin my life. Yes, I 'manned up' and kicked the crap out of that girl - but what good did it do me, really, as the rest of the kids carried on as usual?  Did the bullies leave me alone after that? Yes.But now I had an even bigger problem... This experience had awoken the sleeping dragon. The rebel in me arose, and she was ANGRY.

Embracing my inner rebel wholeheartedly took me to some very dark places; places in which I need not have spent time had I had access to the truth about the world I live in earlier. 

Photo - 'Stewart and the Stolen Chair' by John D Moulton


No, I didn’t go on to bully others: I was far too 'sensitive' for that. But I did become uncontrollably angry and bitterly resentful. Being forced to physically defend myself only ostracised me even further. Rage at the unfairness and injustice in the world around me began to take over my existence. Most of it was directed inwards, in frustration at my inability to break free from the oppression and dehumanising grip of society’s demands and restrictions- in "not fitting in", and in not wanting to fit in with people who misunderstood me so completely. The outward manifestations (self-harm, getting drunk, smoking) resulted in my being taken into care, ostracised from my family, alone. Confused and in unspeakable pain, and desperate for respect and validation, I ran away with a ‘man’ (I struggle to refer to him as that) more than twice my age. A Hell's Angel, no less. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination - whatever you come up with probably won’t be that much worse than actual events...

 

Photo - 'Angry Girl' (Jay Taylor)

Many years later, I no longer blame those around me for this chain of events. I’m not writing this to apportion blame, or stir up guilt. I know that the adults in my life at that time did what they did because of their societal programming, and could not have acted otherwise, even if it looked to me like they could have at the time.

As a result of the 'designer disease' of denial which afflicts the majority of people, they did not question their beliefs or their actions for long enough or hard enough to have any chance of seeing through the faulty paradigm spoon-fed to them by society. They had not figured out what is going on on this planet on a wider scale. They were, in that sense, innocent. They had not made the connection between the bullies we relentlessly produce and unleash upon our innocent, unprepared children, and the bullies who are calling the shots at the 'Top of the World'. None of them knew a damned thing about life itself, and how it works.

But now I know, and I’m shouting it from the rooftops, metaphorically speaking. 

We can - and must - end the tyranny of the bullies on an individual, local, global and even universal level. Not by violent means, but by simply being authentic - by creating new attitudes and paradigms, new ways of living and interacting which benefit the many, not just the few; and which honour our true nature, not the whims of the bullies.

Because there IS an action which could end all of this right now: a show of solidarity by the sane members of the population. All it takes is awareness of the situation, a bit of backbone, and the common sense ability to count the numbers.

You see, the bullies in question didn’t only bully me, and they didn’t make any attempt to hide the fact that they were bullies. Their twisted, troubled, power-seeking antics were right there in everyone’s faces. Look around you at world events, at the grown-up bullies who blatantly lead the masses to war, and slaughter the innocent in innumerable quantities. The parallels are there - I’m not making them up, or retro-fitting world events to fit my 'traumatised world-view'.

Although the vast majority of those around me felt what those kids were doing to be wrong, they carried on regardless, or felt powerless to intervene. Apply that learned hopelessness, that failure to step in, that failure to stand up and be counted when we know something to be wrong? That, right there, is our undoing. This turning away will be the death of us. The turning away IS the death of us, in every sense imaginable.

Conversely, facing our true feelings and acting upon them, facing the truth and living it, is the only way out of this mess.

School bullies, political bullies, warmongers, yes-men and doormats - authoritarian structures produce them. It’s all one thing, it’s all happening over and over again; a pattern repeating ad infinitum until 'I', the individual, realise and exercise my own wonderful natural power. This power can then be used in a life-serving way, to take care of and be in flow with myself, my environment, my fellow beings. In that moment, the bullies in the playground (both in our day-to-day reality and metaphorically speaking) cease to have power over anyone but themselves - which is to say that the natural order, or natural law, is returned to its rightful place as the guiding light in every sentient being’s existence.

The numbers ARE stacked against the bullies, make no mistake. There were about 50 children on my school bus every day, and only five of them were 'terrorists'. Of those five, one was the real troublemaker and the other four were 'henchkids': alone and without their psycho ringleader, they were really quite benign. What would have happened if those 45 other children has peacefully but firmly surrounded the troublemakers and told them in no uncertain terms that their behaviour was unacceptable? What if we had repeated this action every time one of the bullies started tormenting one of us?

I reckon this percentage per head of population is roughly similar in any given situation - 1% psychos and damage cases, 4% willing followers, 89% helpless souls suffering from learned helplessness, and 1% brave enough (or desperate enough) to take action. 

The fact of the matter is, the psychopaths, the bullies and the troubled-beyond-redemption are in a tiny minority. And we are countless multitudes.

There are so many decent, well-intentioned people out there. On the day we realise that our compliance is what empowers them, the game is over. If defensive action IS required, it will be proportionate and will cease in the moment that its goal of restoring peace is achieved. Truth will be seen, individual authenticity will flourish and create delights and miracles we can presently only dream of. Beautiful, respected children will grow into beautiful, respectful adults, healthy and strong, free from oppression and full of wonder and glory. It will happen.  

Photo - 'Playground Meditation' by Jay Taylor

I dragged myself back out of hell by facing my pain and the confusion and figuring out for myself what their causes were. I don’t think about those times and I don’t dwell upon their events; and I don't wish to see more children enduring such suffering when we could so easily do something else instead. Crucially, I don’t repeat those mistakes because I have truly learned from them.

One day, every ‘I’ on this planet, every ‘I’ in existence, will be able to say the same. 

Because I have learned, I do not pass the sickness of the World on to my own child: instead, I pass on the knowledge that we each have the power to co-create our own reality. I provide the space, validation and support that allow my child to be authentic without compromise.  Raven has not been subjected to the daily 'sausage factory' programming regime of 'baby sheep bootcamp' - school. Instead, Raven has been treasured, seen, heard and nurtured with every ounce of love I could muster. This is not permissiveness, or conflict avoidance, or escapism. It is a conscious choice for the benefit of myself, my child, for the beautiful earth, and for mankind.

Unsurprisingly to me, this truly authentic being is NOT selfish, not unkind, not power-hungry, not ‘evil’ or ‘sinful’ or flawed in any way: exactly the opposite is true.

Since I can raise a child who “sees truth regardless of appearances”,  I see that plainly it can be done. Even in less than ideal circumstances (after all, the global and small scale bullies still reign supreme). And all I have really done is to wholeheartedly facilitate this individual's naturally-arising interests - to champion their right to be who they are, and do what they do.

Born primed to be a social creature, born curious and focussed and bright and adventurous, we do not need to be forced into a mould, or taught how to be what we already are. Freedom, wisdom, truth, balance, laughter, love, warmth, creativity, insight - all of these are our birthright. All we have to do is realise it, to value and reclaim it. 

Clearly this is far easier to achieve if one is born into a supportive environment, guided by those who respect and value you, who see you as an equal and a partner, and who insist wherever possible that others do the same. And this has been, and continues to be, my mission. As a parent, I walk hand in hand with my child, guiding with my experience where helpful, not programming its repetition it or blocking this person's own experiences. Along the way, I have learned more from this relationship than I have learned from anybody else in human form.

Raven also 'just happens' to be the best company, and the best friend, anyone could ever wish for. Intelligent, funny, observant, knowledgeable, wise - all this, and never set foot inside a school in her life... whoever woulda thunk it? ;o)

Photo - 'Bubble Girl' by Jay Taylor

 

How difficult is it to achieve, this 'unschooling' process; this process of bringing in the new? I would say that breaking through the programmed responses is the most challenging part.

And learning to truly trust in the inherent goodness and rightness of human nature can be challenging with so few models to validate that trust.

 
That aside, it’s child’s play, actually: as simple as saying a firm, authentic ‘“yes” or “no” when you feel in your heart that something is “right” or “not-right” for you. (And yes, en masse, if necessary). And allowing that somebody else’s “yes’ or “no” may well be different from yours at this moment. And then seeing where that takes you - playing with ideas; co-creating the next thing, and the next...with life, and courage and vivacity, be that alone or together.

I'll say it again - only 'I', the individual, can change my world. The good news is, there are a LOT of 'I's out there...

Steem on, brothers and sisters :o)

With love - Jay