Talking to my 16 year old self

Right as of this moment I am in a point where my life starts to unravel in front of my eyes. This is when the time that I used to spend having fun starts to become the time I spend to earn. The people that I used to talk to every time becomes too busy with their lives as well that I end up having spent my day without really enjoying it. I have reached to a point where my life choices' aftereffects have become evident. And this is the time where I start to wonder, am I living the life that I am supposed to live?

this is a photo of when I was still 16 years old. All smiles and innocent, unknowing to what was a crazy jungle that is the future ahead

My name is Ivan. I am a 23 year old engineering student by course, and a free spirit by choice. Most people of my age have already got a job and a salary, but what I have is a life of my own that I am most eager to mold into the life that I dreamed. I have lived a life full of choices laid in front of me, and I was sure I chose what was best. I have achieved many things in my years of living, and I am proud of it. But of course, that's just on side of the coin.

In reality, yes, I have known a lot of people. I have been someone known to a lot in my college either because I've been on the limelight ever since I can remember it; or because I have been there for too long now. I am 23 and most people of my age has had their life already set. Maybe because this free-spiritedness has brought me more harm than good. But aside from that, I am always eager to raise my flag in the highest pole still. My eagerness to mold a life of my own has never wavered. I have been always proud of my life choices, because with them is how I became who I am, who I am not, how I failed, and how I triumphed. I have always been content, and probably will always be proud of what I have become. But if I had things to say to my 16 year old self, these would probably it;

You are good enough, and it's OK to be good enough.

I guess I can honestly say that one of the hardest thing that I have ever done was to claim what was the gratitude that I deserved. It has always dawned on me how I should really contribute to every situation. Giving the best of myself to someone or something is really all I am capable of, and I can't give more of something that I don't have. Having accepted that made me free of the overbearing obligation I had always felt. I became free.

Stop worrying about the future.

There were so many occasions where I'd find myself getting caught up in a moment and thinking about how it would impact my future. In actuality, it is just a very logical way of lining up your plans of what's ahead of you. But looking back I realized how I missed out on a lot of very important moments in my life. I wish I could have just accepted the present and truly lived in it instead of being too concerned with what would happen next.

Take care of your body - you only have one.

In my days of being young, I have lived and tried it all (except drugs) When I say Y.O.L.O., I meant the real deal. But now that I have cut my partying and drinking and most of my vices, I realized that I have scarred my body compared to what it was before. It comes with age, I guess. What was the youthful and strong guy that I was became the easily exhausted and boring adult that I am. I used to play a lot of sports, but now I can only play to an extent because my body doesn't work to how it was before. I guess that was one of my biggest regrets, not taking good care of my body. Well, I guess I have to catch up to the years that I've lost. It's not yet late and it's never gonna be too late. I am still young, at heart, that is!

JUST DO IT! YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY!

As I have previously stated, I have always been a free spirited person, and probably will always be. I guess if I had the chance to talk to my past self, I'd tell it to seize the day with utmost eagerness. Don't shy away from opportunities that put you out of your comfort zone! It builds character, and you end up learning more about yourself than you initially thought you would.

And, most importantly, THANK YOU.

If it weren't for those silly mistakes or knee-trembling moments, I wouldn't have grown up to be the individual I'm proud to be today. Thank you for teaching me the importance of moving forward with my head held high, and giving me the readiness to face any challenge that comes my way.

this is a recent photo of me. fatter. older. more haggard. BUT YES! STILL SMILING! STILL FIGHTING! STRONGER, WISER, AND MORE READY TO FACE THE DAY TO DAY LIFE HEAD ON

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