@intelliguy update -- Wind beneath my wings
This is a corny post (again, no graphics)... but those few who care about me, I want to give an update
Q: What are you doing intelliguy, turning STEEM posts into twitter updates?
A: Yeah, I guess I am.
So for those of you that don't know. I'm driving across the country to go visit an ailing family member that his prognosis is that it is probably terminal.
For the first time in 5 years that I wanted to do this drive and can finally afford it... and it is kind of working out that my planned drive is happening at the exact same time that I should be traveling anyway. So it is a 2 for 1 deal...
Well tonight my vehicle broke down. I'm actually happy it did, because one of the servers I am running broke down at the same time, and I wouldn't have noticed it for 12 hours while being on the road.
The universe works this way... Your vehicle breaks down and puts you in a motel "for a reason", and gets you off the road, so when you connect to WIFI and realize a server needs some attention, you're like.... wow... I am glad actually I pulled off the road and stayed the night so I could fix the server too.
...so that is what is happening to me. I have vehicle repairs in the morning, but the server is already fixed, and I am still on my journey to see my ailing family member.
Life isn't flowers and roses. But if you are a good natured person, the bad times can actually work out to benefit your goals and missions in life.
So that's my latest update. I should be back to normal in a proper destination by Sunday. (fingers crossed)
....then we can see @intelliguy that we normally see all the time. I'm just dealing with abnormal life issues right now.
Thanks for reading... all 15 of you (out of 3900 followers) who come back to check what I'm up to and what am I doing. :)
Sometimes I feel like I have wind beneath my wings... even bad situations can turn out to be good situations....
Enjoy the song. You might have heard it before, but it applies tonight, for me.
I devote this particular play of this song today to my father.
The universe is really taking your precious time to scoop in its server issues.
What a hell of a drive so many hours. It sucks the car is failing, but maybe a mandatory rest with you being up so many hours also might not be a bad thing.
Enjoy your time with your loved ones..and never forget to do it a bit more , and a bit more again.
By the way, I'm in such a weird situation. I have a lot of time I'd like to make up now, that I am able to with him...but the hourglass has already started. Time is sifting through our fingers. Each day is less chance I have to get there.. and do that..it is pretty taxing on me.
I feel I can't get there soon enough... and it isn't working according to the way it should.
I just keep reminding myself... all you can do.. is what you can...
I have heard stories in convalescent care... I never wanted to have that situation ever happen to me, where the family shows up "too late" -- and it is happening to me... the guilt pangs I have are massive.
It is okay that it is taxing on you, it means that you care and you value it. That is what is important.
I also think that even if you would live just around the corner and even if you would have spent all the time in the world together. It is still never enough, we always want more.
You are doing what you can and that message your dad will also pick up and value it even if (god forbid) there is not enough time.
Be okay with having your guilt, and remember that you are doing whatever you can, even when you think you didnt do it in the past.
And in terms of what to say to each other (what you are talking about below here)... the same things will come up, which you will always feel is still not enough. You've grown into a fine caring man for a reason. Be proud and let him be proud.
You are a diamond in the rough @karinxxl -- so happy I met you.
feeling is all mutual bro!
We say (here in the Netherlands): coincidence does not exist.
What happened to you (with the car and the server) is a good example of this saying.
The reason for your trip is a sad one. So I hope you will have a safe trip and time to say goodbye to your family member.
At the end of your message, you dedicate a song to your father. Is my suspicion that the family member you are about to see is your father, a correct assumption?
Yes it is, and I thank you for showing up. It means a lot to me. I'm going through troubled issues... I am the type of person that prides themselves on being methodical, logical, and always able to find the right answer on how to deal with any situation.
...except this...
Thanks @clio for stopping by -- and commenting. It is quite comforting for me to know you're aware of the situation.. I feel like I am not alone. So thanks.
When a situation comes close to the heart, all normal behavior stops functioning. So it is 'logical' you don't know how to deal with this situation.
It is no comfort right now, but all children (and we are all children of our parents) will experience the same or have already experienced the same. Our parents die before us if it is otherwise it is not the 'normal' course of events. Parents should go before the children and not the other way around. The grief of parents who have to bury a child is heartbreaking.
You have helped me immensely... my mom could never say anything helpful. (Not all moms are that good, I've learned).
Thanks for the great motherly advice. I owe you a favor back.
By the way... in jest.. the Netherlands understands cheese too... so if they say "coincidence does not exist" I value that... a lot. Those of us stuck with square plastic wrapped tasteless cheese slices that look and taste like colored wax...
Yeah I'd like to know more about what the Netherlands has to say... they seem quite intelligent.
Here is a question @clio -- if @exyle were to ever lose his mom.... and I watched him go through that... what could I possibly tell him? --- I know completely how much he loves his mom.. none of us are ready for these things.... how do we handle it, understand it, and accept it?
Would you have any words of advice on that...
As I wrote to you this afternoon it is normal to lose your parents at a certain moment. I hope not too soon. My mother was 52 years old when she died. That is too early. But even if your parent dies at 98, it is still your parent and you will mourn.
I hope that you (everyone) can be grateful for what he or she has meant for you. Share memories with your brothers and sisters and your children (if you have them).
As I wrote to you this afternoon it is normal to lose your parents at a certain moment. But I hope not too soon. My mother was 52 years old when she died. That is too early. But even if your parent dies at 98, it is still your parent and you will mourn. But I hope that you (everyone) can be grateful for what he or she has meant for you.
Share memories with your brothers and sisters, your children (if you have them) or with others who knew your parent. Accept the loss as a given and concentrate on the surviving parent and/or your own family. They need you, not the deceased parent.
But do take time to mourn and talk about your loss. Don't put it away in a corner of your heart, because it will come out at an unexpected moment. Talking helps to process it
An inspirational story, and food for thought for the day, and longer.
Many people out there can relate and are dealing with what your going through. Times are tough, seems as if there’s everyday struggles, if we just pull off the road and look at things in a positive way and realize as you said, things happen for a reason, one door closes but many more will open, and having someone that inspires you in life along with prayer and hope, We learn to become stronger..
All any of us can do is one day at a time and please don't beat yourself up...
It's very good question for my all steemit friends...i think this question ans have various type my various friend..keep it up dear..
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Sending you additional strength ...
remember to tell your father how you feel about him & keep telling him that you love him .... & also touch & hold him if he is open to it (i.e. hold his hand, lightly rub his back, caress his forehead, stroke his hair) ... it is incredibly healing ...