I studied pyschology in school and I always found depression so, confusing. Its intangible and subjective, so I cant "feel" or "see" your depression, and therefore its an invisible enemy. I know some people who struggle with depression and the way they describe it is terrifying, like drowning, or sufficating. They often say they would accept physical pain over the weight of the depression, if they could choose... it sounds unimaginably terrible.

I am sorry that you experience that. I am however glad that you place your hope in Jesus. He doesnt stop every pain, in this life, he doesnt erase every difficulty, but He is ever present, and always with us, Emmanuel = God with us. He is the one who stands in the fire with us.

Daniel 3:24-25

24Suddenly King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in amazement and asked his advisers, “Did we not we throw three men, firmly bound, into the fire?” “Certainly, O king,” they replied. 25“Look!” he exclaimed. “I see four men, unbound and unharmed, walking around in the fire—and the fourth looks like a son of the gods!”