Why I used to be embarrassed about my age and why you can be a leader no matter how old you are

in life •  2 years ago

When I started my career I was very embarrassed about my age. I joined a tech start up as a graduate and I got a pretty exiting role. My role was to grow the first non-English-speaking market. That itself was a great responsibility. In that role I had to work with a lot of different people that were older than me. And of course after working with some of them they began to wonder how old I was.

At that stage of my career I was super embarrassed to talk about my age because I felt that I wasn’t worth it and that my age would mean that I didn’t have the experience. People were right when they thought that I didn’t have the experience but I was passionate about my job and did really well. Nothing, apart from the age blockage in my head was stopping me.

I tried to avoid any conversations regarding age family, life in general, kids, marriage, anything that could relate to how old I was because I just didn’t want to have that conversation. I thought if people knew I was only 23 when I started in that role they would turn around and stop working with me. Especially in Europe age does matter when you start working and a lot of people don’t trust you if you don’t have the 5+ years of work experience on your CV.

Apart from having to work on the internal project, I had to build a brand, not only for the company but also for myself. Part of my job in marketing is to have a good network, talk to customers and speak at conferences. Building these relationships with 23 was pretty damn hard. Nobody trusts you to present something in front of 200 people.

So what did I do?

Because so many people obviously had this cliché in their mind, I decided to just avoid mentioning my age and experience. I focused on what I was doing at that very moment in that role and why my job was so important.

I took down any dates on my LinkedIn profile that would relate back to my birthday. If somebody directly asked me about my age I would just respond: “You don’t ask a lady how old she is”

That was my bullet proof strategy to avoid these conversations. Luckily enough it worked most of the times. People now thought that I was in my late twenties and I was fine with that. That seemed like a good age to me.

Being 26 years old now, I look back and think that I probably did the right thing back then because I felt that I had no choice but I also know that I should have stayed true to myself. I was actually good in what I was doing. I was even better than people with more experience and that had nothing to do with my age. It was a skill set and the passion I put into the work.

I am now at a point were I can confidently say that age doesn’t matter. It’s a number in your head but it doesn’t define you.

I quickly realized that this way of thinking would stop me from developing my career and that I had to overcome this fear. That’s why I started to just focus on the now and then and not on the past.

I worked hard, learned a lot from others and I decided to proactively speak at events and with customers to get over my fear. This strategy worked really well for me because now I am more confident than ever before.

So here are my tips why nobody should be afraid of stepping up at an early stage in their career:

1. Listen to others

When you’re starting in your career it’s still very important to listen to others and get the most out of your current role as possible. Schedule meetings with members from other teams and departments to find out how they work and what part they play in the business. It’s valuable to get an understanding of the business because when you start meeting with more experienced people you’ll be able to understand what and why they’re talking about certain things. Most people stay in their own little bubble and don’t go outside to learn more things that don’t necessary relate to their core role. It’s a missed opportunity!

2. Stay true to yourself

When you’re young then there will be things that you can’t know about. It’s not wrong to admit these gaps and work on getting better. When I look back at my situation, I should have been more open about it. You shouldn’t be embarrassed by something you don’t know because this will give you an opportunity to learn it.

3. Challenge people

They people that don’t challenge things won’t get very far because nobody will notice them. If you have something to add to a conversation or new ideas to tackle a problem, speak out loud, or never speak again.

4. Take risks and push yourself

All these famous tech people like were very young when they started their own business and they took a huge risk. If you don’t take small risks in your day to day job then you will never get to a point where you’re actually challenged and can see the real potential in you. Pushing yourself and taking those risks will make sure that you will try the best you can to solve the problem. I experienced that the situations were I wasn’t sure if things would turn out in the right way, were the most valuable to me because they challenged me in a good way.

5. Not everybody will be like you

Make sure you understand that not everybody will want to aim for the same success as you. There are a lot of people out there who don’t want to become a leader. There is nothing wrong with that, you just have to accept it as you move on with your career. Not everybody has the same big goals and great passion. It’s very important to understand that and accept the people around you.

What happened after all this?

I am now leading my own marketing team and feel very proud when people ask me how old I am because I am happy to talk about my story. It’s a part of me and nothing that I need to be ashamed of.

Stay true to yourself and trust in your abilities!

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Age and maturity are 2 different things, my friend started seeing a 22 year old when he was 34, everyone remarked how she was so much more mature than him.

10 years later they're now married with 2 gorgeous kids.

You are mature beyond your years, and I can't wait for another one of your marketing blogs, I have already put some of your tips into action. :-)

Cg

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Thanks for your great feedback! I agree with your point there! Stay tuned for more marketing content coming soon. Starting to love Steemit and it's community! :)

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Excellent, I can't wait! :-)

Cg

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Age is just a number. Maturity is experience. Put experience over age and you end up being very mature at a very young age

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But, I wanna stay young at an old age!

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your comment made me giggle, doesn't everyone want that? :D
~forever young

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=) - I try, I try. I'm a little slow but I keep on swimming..

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This deserves a fuckin upvote.

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She is married bro.

Great article here. The truth about the field you're in - digital marketing is, you're probably better as a fresh-faced 22 year old than someone who's 32, 42 or 52. You can learn quickly. You don't have to unlearn anything. You grew up with facebook and twitter and google.

I faced similar challenges when I was a copywriter/blogger. I was 18 when I had my first freelance client. I was terrified of them finding out how young I was. Whenever I mentioned how young I was on a sales call, they'd lose interest or wouldn't give repeat work.

I quickly learned, grew a beard and avoided the conversations you mention :P

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Grow a beard. Exactly. That's what I did!

I'm not exactly young (29) but I kinda know how you feel. Upvoted.

I just did a video on a similar topic here:
https://steemit.com/video/@business/my-first-steemit-video-blog-warning-high-energy

But be careful, my face is in HD. Gross.

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You're definitely not gross

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Are you crazy?!? You are SUPER young. You will understand that when you are fifty or sixty. Oh, kaskade? In his late 40s. So enjoy life and youth!

Thanks for sharing this story with us! It's great to hear such a constructive, positive take on an awkward situation.

Young people obviously don't have much experience yet, but we do have the great strengths of being adaptable and learning quickly. There's a great benefit in being open to new ideas as well as listening to others' knowledge and advice. Thanks for sharing your tips!

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Thanks for the lovely comment. Agree, we should trust ourselves more in showing what we can bring to the table as youngsters.

To be 26 again enjoy every minute hun as it flies by far too quickly, I hit 52 this year and feeling really old now after reading that lol

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Thanks @karenb54! I know that we can't get any time back. Trying to enyoy it as best as I can :))

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Dont get to my age saying If only , go for it good luck

I am now at a point were I can confidently say that age doesn’t matter. It’s a number in your head but it doesn’t define you.

In a way it doesn't. But in 10 years, you may be like "oh, I wish I had the mind I have now and the body I had 10 years earlier". Time is an accumulator of experience and wisdom and, most of the times, this is irreplaceable.

26 is still young, very young :)

Anyways, the strategy worked for you which is all that counts. Congratulation for everything that you've achieved. There is much more in store for you.

Good luck!

I believe your post is unfortunately entirely incorrect, but a lot of people seemed to have voted for it anyway. The human brain supposedly doesn't become really developed or mature until around age 25 (physically speaking). Of course that's the bell curve and there are outliers.

Age is not important. Its only numbers.

Congratulations, is a great post!

Do you like it?:
My God STEEM

This is so true. I think individuals need to put the age assumption aside. Someone can be in their teens and be more wise than the oldest of individuals. Also, a youth can have more common sense and knowledge than most. People should not be discredited.

“Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”

Hey, great work!! Since you got in the TOP 10 Trending articles on Steemit I just wanted to let you know that I added your article to the Flipboard Steemit Trending Magazine for everyone to see it.

Age does not define you, but experience can certainly matter in some work situations or positions. In some areas a motivated young person can outperform and in others it will be simply impossible to do the job to its utmost without having gone through the process a number of times before.

The beauty of being young is that you can set aside the time to become experienced in things that will really matter later on. Making the most of the opportunities presented you while building up a rich set of experiences in your field will allow you to have the most success in the long run.

Always appreciate where you are at any time, take the lessons that situation has to offer you and be aware that you are in the process of building the experience that when combined with your natural abilities will make you a highly valued and unique asset.

Great writeup! Thanks for sharing!

I love this! As a 25 year old Senior IT, I am also moving into a Project Management role for telecommunications at my firm. I was performing a site inspection two days ago and the first thing out of the customer's mouth was, "where is your boss?" When I responded that I am it, he laughed and said I couldnt have been over 18. Of course I could have taken that as a compliment, it is a huge stigma in the business world. What I do? Im aggressive. I dont second guess myself, and I maintain an air of confidence. Its hard, but there are plenty of hungry sharks out there. Have to make yourself look less like prey, and more like a fellow shark..

This is absolutely true, age shouldn't matter but if often matters too much, people value experience and don't realize that they do the opposite at the same time. They're looking down upon younger people. I'm glad you had the guts to do what it takes, thanks for your insight!

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Thanks @mystis. It took me a while but I got there :)

I think important to have people like that in the world, with courage to makes this steps reality every day.

It's funny because as you get older you might start to feel like you're too old to be relevant at a tech startup. I think, like you said, age doesn't really matter though - there are much more important things in life! :)

I can't seem to get any attention when talking about the lgbt community. I hope it isn't an issue. =(

No matter your age or job, if you work hard, be helpful and get things done, you will always build respect and friendship with your co-workers.

Ageism is prevalent in most societies, and in my view it is just as bad as racism, sexism, or any other type of prejudice. Age means nothing. Bill Gates founded an empire when he was 20 years old. What you produce and how you live your life is what matters.

Excellent, very beautiful words

Very nice post. I'm 29 myself and I work as a consulting ergonomist, going from business to business. I'm confronted every day by people twice my age challenging me, and all of your tips apply : by being myself, being professional and having the skillset for the task at hand, age is really just a number. If you can hold out your own, you're recognized as a go-getter, "something youth is lacking sorely these days!".

Give me a break. If this was the middle ages I'd be 5 years away from dying of old age ;)

Here in the States its also the same as most companies want to see 5+ years of experience. Great points and I enjoyed reading this post.

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Thanks @daf! Glad you enjoyed the read :)

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I ran into the sort of same problem at my previous work. I use to work at a not so big Pharma company and I was one of the top saleslady in my region. I was not necessarily embarrassed of my age, but I knew that people would judge me based on that. I received my Masters in Biology at 24 and dealing with doctors... can be tough. I have grown since then.

I look forward to your future post.

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Thanks for sharing your story! Interesting to hear from others about their perspective. Thanks for following! :)

Great story thanks.

Great article! I'm a woman in my 40's and there is a certain stigma that comes with age.

Seras lo que tu quieras Ser... y llegaras donde quieras llegar, solo depende de ti. No seas como los lobos hambrientos que se alimentan cuando critican a los demas. Deja que el fracaso encuentre su falso contenido en el mundo de los ignorantes -no hay que envidiar al que brilla... simplemente hay que imitarlo!!!

age is just a number. you have to tell yuorself how old you are.age is not the reflection of how you act

Seras you are whatever you want ... and you'll come wherever you want to get , just depends on you. Do not be like hungry wolves that eat when they criticize others. Let failure find its false content in the world of the ignorant -no to envy shining ... just you have to imitate him !!!

Where are you from? nice post! you have my upvote

If you don't ask you cannot get a "yes". Just do it! Nice post!

Love This. Sometimes I am embarassed about being 54 in a young person's game on Steemit, but it's better to be old than the alternative!

Age is unimportant, the most important is how well you feel with you and accept yourself as you are.

Most people I know want to appear younger not older, so good to show that the grass often looks greener on the other side ;)

i think been mature is the damm thing needed any organisation where you find yourself.you might be 40years old and seems not to be matured enough to fit into some organisation

Too often we get upset over trifles. And depend on other people's opinions. Just do what is important to you and what you love. Life is too short to doubt yourself.

No matter how old you're @inboundinken
...you can always be a leader. That's just how I see it. I've gone through majority of experiences through personal experiences...since I'm a hands on type of person. I don't base things off of other's opinions. I just go for it. #Life is all about taking risks!

Really

You're as old as you feel. I recently celebrated my 42nd birthday. When they brought the cake out to me, there were two candles that made "4""2". I said that they ought to turn them around to make at 24, because that's how old I feel. Don't let anything slow you down!

Thanks. It is good to here a success story.

There are really couple of strong harassing stereotypes that we could encounter with at work. Age is one of them. Second is gender probably. Unfortunately but people manipulate with those two features as they like. There is not necessary to be young, mature or old to be abused or boycotted. I have severely challenged twice in my career with people who were actually elder than me although lower rank (on of them) and same rank (another one). Both of them (in different locations and companies) appealed to their maturity and "n-years of experience" when no other pleas remained. What is really interesting in those two cases that difference in age was not so significant as for me. Just about 10 years. Although their ego were pinched so much that it was developed in major hassle. (By the way, my relationships with other mature and worthy people 15-20 years elder than me were very good). All depends on human himself. If no age people will find some other distinguishes to abuse. Better not to be bothered so much about this. Have a good day.

👍nice post.., No matter the age , the young sometimes get old ,the old sometimes get young

nice story , thanks I am 44 you are so young enough I really envy you

I see maturity in all ages. content with my age. though I wish time wouldn't fly quite so fast LOL Great Read!

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Haha! I agree. Time flies once you start working and get into a certain routine. thanks for the nice words.

There is another rule: Challenge not only others, but yourself aswell.

I'm 49 and there is a high degree of likelihood that you are more mature and responsible than I. Rock on.

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Haha. Love it.