Ghost from the past

in #life7 years ago

I´ve seen him today – again.
He looked different. The sparks in his eyes were gone. There´s shadow over his face, and it´s getting more obvious.

Something is wrong. He doesn´t look well.

I wanted to walk over and asked him what was going on in his life.
But…
Too much pain and anger on both sides.

I wonder when we´ll talk again…?
Soon?
Never?
Maybe someday?

It´s hard watching someone who was your entire life and not being able to help. Will he accept my hand? Will he talk to me? Will he ignore me?
I don´t know.

Should I try it, anyway?
Yes, I will. Next time. Next time when I see him on the street, I will talk to him.

broken-car-vehicle-vintage.jpg

I overheard my friends talking about him. Not good.
Drugs.
Baby on the way and he´s just lost his job. It seems he´s making one bad decision after another.
I know it´s his life and his responsibility, but… It hurts seeing him like this. Why won´t his friends and people around him help? I wish somebody would wake him up and tell him…
This is not the way!
You are going to be a father, get yourself together and start thinking about your little one!
Am I allowed to do this?
After being the one who broke his heart and crushed his dreams?
After being the one who perhaps sent him down this road?

rails-train-path-straight.jpg

It´s so easy to be clever and pretend to know how others feel. To know exactly what to say to make things right.
But the truth is… I don´t know how he really feels. I don´t know why he started using drugs. I don´t know his fears or understand his desires. Not anymore.
Many years have passed since we were together.
Life has changed.
We have changed.

the-past-cannot-be-changed-forgotten-edited-or-erased-it-can-only-be-accepted.jpg

So, what should I do?

Should I interfere or just say hello and keep on walking?
Keep on walking with a pain in my heart, knowing I wasn´t able to give him what he wanted so many years ago?

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