@honeyscribe the vampire slayer

I have had my fair share of being knocked down lately. I've become a professional at dusting my shoulders off and drinking whisky drinks.

Wait. That may have been a different decade. My apologies.

In all seriousness, I do feel like I was buried and am gasping for air reanimated Buffy style. I'm not ready to make nice, but here's the thing--I always make nice. Why?

Because rudeness gets me about as far as dishonesty. I've learned it is possible to be righteously, irrevocably pissed and still be kind. In choosing to be conscious in my interactions, I am able to prevent further misunderstandings and recover any shiny aspects of the situation. Lately, I've seen nothing shiny to hang on to, but I'm okay with that.

It often takes a lot of work to get to a place where I can interact with someone kindly. I'm human. I have feelings. But the premise on which I started writing as @persepctive is my life philosophy (also from another decade).

We can't party on if we aren't excellent to each other.

We absolutely can't party when we aren't excellent to ourselves.

I think you've gathered by now that writing is my main from of self-care. I have several techniques I use that prevent anyone from taking the sky from me. In cases like this, when I am surrounded by Red Coats, I write my words like I'm building weapons. Usually, I burn them afterward. I do this with respect for myself.

What I mean is, if I share my deepest, most unrefined rage, someone else has seen it and can hold onto it and may even use it against me. Just like a gun. I might lose control of it and fall victim to my own creation. But if I refine and express with the person I most want to be in mind (rather than the person who hurt me), I am taking the high ground. It's difficult to turn kindness against someone. It is not easily manipulated when accompanied by a strong sense of self and a consistent public image.

I am going to keep climbing out of this (w)hole and slaying. I've got this.