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RE: A few steps to awakening and how I got none of them but hey, that's life.
well, am I still me if I'm not a self-hating asshole?
Dunno, but it don't seem like all that self-hating is doing you much good. Why read such stuff and compare yourself with others? You should strive to be happy by your own rules. Seriously, a checklist found on Facebook or wherever designed to make some people feel better bout themselves shouldn't be enough to make you feel shitty.
You're the only one who can bring about change and constantly sabotaging yourself and thinking you don't measure up ain't gonna do it.
Sorry for being blunt...
You do have a point.
However.
What you're saying is that the whole wisdom of people who lived and thought and wrote about this is meaningless and YOU know better. The hubris of this statement is staggering and is a telltale of ignorance. You should always strive to learn and educate yourself and meditate on concepts and ideas. Sure, in the end, you will chose for yourself. But first you gotta know them or else you're just a walking simpleton that thinks it knows better beacause it knows nothing.
Of course, not saying that's what you do, but it's a slippery slope that one must think of imho.