This is an incredible piece. Incredibly emotional yet wise. I am not going to make any assumptions here so I will just refer to the "protagonist". Dear Mr. Protagonist, I can totally relate to your story. I too met and lost the love of my life. I lamented about the mistakes I had made that lead to me missing out on eternal happiness... and then I met my wife. And you know what I did? I thanked God that I had made all of those mistakes with that first person. Why? Because I learned from each one of them... and avoided them when it really mattered... with my future wife. I have made a ton of mistakes in my life, but it is like the butterfly effect. Perhaps if I had not made any one of those mistakes, I would not be in the right place (literally or emotionally) to meet and fall in love with my wife. Mr. Protagonist, be patient and when you find the right person, apply what you have learned. Then live happily ever after....