You know you've found a great friend when this conversation just flows

in #life3 years ago

I'm an extrovert and have been my entire life as far back as I can remember. This doesn't mean that I am not a bit uncomfortable in certain situations such as when I am new in a town though and this situation was something that I encountered a LOT growing up because my family moved a lot when I was a kid. Also, my first job after college was a traveling job which would result in me being in new cities every couple of weeks to a month and being introverted would have resulted in a great deal of loneliness if I wasn't willing to strike up conversation with strangers.

Some people are receptive to this and others are not so much. I'm not going to lie: There have been instances where my outgoing nature has nearly gotten me in trouble but mostly this was because I started to talk to a female in a new town being completely unaware that she was also at that same bar with a very insecure boyfriend. In all but a few of those situations though, I was able to fire up a conversation with the jealous boyfriend in a way that made him realize that I really meant no harm: One of those exact situations with jealous boyfriends resulted in me becoming really good friends with said guy and I still keep in touch with him to this day even though it has been nearly 20 years.

I meet a lot of people because my life is transient: Some are great people, some people I only talk to once and then avoid them in the future because they are cray-cray (there are a lot of those types in the expat communities around the world for some reason) and then there is another category of people that I can see immediately that we are going to get along swimmingly.


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Yesterday I went to go hang out with a guy that I met in a bar with his girlfriend when they both moved to Da Nang around 8 months ago. Currently, the city is in lockdown so we have to be at least somewhat careful about where anyone meets but for this meetup we simply sat at some cement tables that are located outside of his condo building. I don't know exactly what the "rules" are right now during lockdown, but it seems to be "ok" if it is just a couple of people sitting somewhere provided that this is not in a public space - it is kind of strange how it works because park bench = not ok whereas a seating arrangement that is essentially the same thing on private property is just fine.


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Anyway, we had planned to get together and have a few beers at this bench and as soon as we sat down the conversation just started flowing and resulted in one of us heading down to the mini-mart to get more beers as we were not done and this was after an hour. Then another hour had passed and we were still chatting away and needed to go on a second beer run. The next thing I know we are 8 beers deep and we stopped not because we were done talking but because we both know that 8 beers is more than enough.

The topics we covered ranged from cycling, life in Vietnam, our pasts, movies, crypto, our pasts, and simply life in general and there was no a single moment during those several hours where there was dead silence or either one of us searching for a topic. I've been in situations with friends of mine where there are a bunch of us sitting around and people just seem to struggle for anything to talk about and well, at those times I start to feel as though I am a court jester because it is always me that comes up with topics and even though it appears as though I enjoy this, I do not. I tend to avoid these people if they are on their own because I know damn well that the conversation is going to be a struggle - and that's not fun now is it?


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There are only a few people on the planet that I can sit with and be able to come up with topic after topic and have both of us engage in the conversation in a way that is entertaining to both of us for a long period of time and when I do have the chance to meet up with these people it is just glorious. So when I do meet someone like this I tend to hang on to them because more often than not, this isn't the case: Most people just don't meld like this.

So when I run into someone like this I tend to hang on to them forever because I think there are only a few people in the world that this is a possibility with. Some people's personalities just mesh in exactly the right way.

Do you have friends like this in your life and do you experience the same phenomenon? I would like to believe that I am just so good at talking to people that this ends up being true with everyone that I meet but conversation is a two-way street and I don't think it really matters if both people are introverted or extroverted - it is just the luck of the draw about whether or not 2 people simply "work" together.

Do you have people like this in your life? I only have a few and it is always a joy when I see them. Unfortunately for I think most people, there are only a handful of others out there that this is possible with. I am just lucky and happy that one of those rare finds happens to live in this city the same time that I do.

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For us men it is usually problematic to maintain conversations with great interest for long periods of time, they must be topics of great interest for both parties, that way a pleasantly sustainable conversation usually flows.

In women it is different, at least the ones I have observed, it is difficult to see two women together who are not talking about something with such intensity. I think it is a good virtue that makes you more sociable, I particularly converse very little!

First of all, thank you for teaching me a new word: transient. I have never used it, nor really seen it before :)

You sure got a thing there with making friends... beeing from up north in Europe, we are not good at deep conversation, but we are experts at speaking about nothing. In other words, we are good at keeping conversations going for 20 minutes about the weather, work, the tax system, then some more about the weather, about the bus not coming, how we think the taxes are too high, and then some more about the weather - before we run out of things to talk about...

But, there are luckily some people with which I can be all day without getting bored, as we always find something to talk about. There seem to be some more crypto people (Steem people) in Da Nang as well, isn't @gabe.radke living there as well? Have you ever met?! :)

happy to have learnt ya somethin!

we are experts at speaking about nothing

This made me laugh. I know a few people that are good about that. I tend to avoid this though because it is ultimately, quite boring.

As for gabe, I kind of know him. There are actually quite a few of us here in Da Nang but most of them post exclusively to the other site that I won't mention but I am sure you know what it is.

I have been thinking about my question about whether you know Gabe or not... and it is kind of funny! After all, Da Nang has more than 1 million inhabitants (according to Wikipedia), meaning that you have 3x more people living there than in Iceland... and who would expect you to have knowledge about all Steemit users in Iceland?!?!

No matter what :) Cool to see that you have a vibrant environment for crypto in general in Vietnam and in Da Nang, no matter which platform you use and cheer for! :)

That is too good to find someone who has good tuning with you. I have two such friends.

Hi, I'm new here, I just found this post. I have to tell you that you are lucky, I totally understand what you mean, I don't know if it's my perception but I feel like it's getting harder and harder to find people with whom you can have conversations like that. In fact, I don't remember when was the last time I had a conversation like that. That you appreciate that kind of thing is really great, I think a lot of people don't appreciate that kind of talk, maybe that's why it's not easy to find a person who is also willing to have a conversation like that.

When I come across such people, I instantly get the feeling that we have known each other for years, although we are just strangers. It is crazy when you think about it.

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