Punishment models don't work. They may get obedience at the surface but they also generate deep resentment and avoidance behavior.

Teaching your kids consequences for their behavior, good and bad, is what creates well-balanced, emotionally-mature children. And this goes far beyond spanking. Verbal abuse, like what was dished out to me and, at times, I've been guilty of dishing out to my daughter, is just as damaging.

Children need consistency and follow through, which result in them taking responsibility for their actions. Those are the lessons you want to stick. Not the memories of flinching and wondering whether your parents love you or hate you.