Humans are the most bizarre creatures - Part 2 - Why do people cheat?
If you missed my previous post, please click here.
Why do humans cheat?
Cheating defined: to act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage.
As humans we are naturally curious creatures. We often get bored, and we are always looking for more fun ways to entertain ourselves. Very few people are content with what they have, and many are often no longer satisfied with decisions they made earlier.
We are constantly motivated from all sides to strive for better things in our lives. We WANT to improve ourselves, and during that search for something better or more exciting, we might take chances that we would not have taken previously.
Relationships can become boring and we might be searching for that same feeling we had in the very beginning of our relationship, and because humans long to get that feeling back, they cheat on their spouses to get that excitement back.
To stay committed to a dull and unexciting relationship is often difficult, and it takes a lot of willpower to keep whatever is left, alive.
Marriage is hard work, and we constantly need to work towards keeping our marriages alive and healthy, BUT then life happens. We have children, and they often change the whole relationship. We work too much to provide for our families, and then the much needed effort we used to put in our relationships flies right out the window. We are too tired to put in effort, and then when there is an escape from all the madness it is then that people step over the line.
My personal opinion is that if you are in a committed relationship it doesn’t matter if anything is offered to you on a silver platter, you will fight against that urge, and stay committed, but we are all just human, and we make mistakes.
Some people are not committed enough to a specific relationship to stay faithful to the person they are supposedly committed to. It is a fact that everyone changes over time, and people drift apart. We are not the same as we were when we got married/ committed to a relationship. We get so used to each other that we forget what we had to start off with.
To cheat or not to cheat - That is the question....
Did you know that men are more likely to cheat, and 30 % of all humans do NOT have an issue with infidelity? These days there are even open relationships where people cheat openly with the approval from their spouse. (I suppose if you have the approval of your spouse then it is not so much cheating right?)
What is your opinion about cheating? (One’s a cheater always a cheater?)
Do you believe that a marriage can survive infidelity?
an interesting post, and one I probably see very differently than most on here.
Firstly, I can say I have never cheated ( in your definition of cheat).
I have been in the adult industry for years, and so obviously monogamy is not really present.
Monogamy has not been a 'thing' in my life for over 15 years, and to me it seems silly - juvenile.
IF you are secure in your relationships with your other half, and there is no deceit, and you have sex with someone else, there is no issue, surely?
Our 'dark side' - that everyone has -ie seeing other individuals as physically attractive - is satisfied.
There is no frustrations, or resentments, or anger toward your partner for not indulging natural desires.
Maybe 'cheating' (which I could never do, btw), is more an indication of personal insecurities, and people not being honest with each other from the beginning, more than anything else...?
My relationships start with this honesty. (5 yrs with my girlfriend, as I type)
'If I give you my heart, it's yours. My bits belong to me' - A conversation I have very quickly, with any potential long term relationship
Just sayin'
requires a level of emotional maturity, commitment and trust that not many are truly capable of, or if they are, chose ;)
I think honesty is the biggest thing(to be honest.)
ANY lying is picked up on, on some basic (unconscious?) level. This includes avoiding tactics - people sense it.
My partners always know I am really honest.
Trust is much easier when their is total honesty.
( If i am asked an opinion on a a dress she puts on - if that dress looks horrible on her - yes I will say so...lol )
The picture attracted me, I watched the first series of the movie. Back to the topic, cheating is way of living for many people. In years to come, the word would not have meaning again. Sometimes the upbringing affects a person's choices. A cheater could change, but a cheater is like an alcoholic, the addiction is not easy to get rid off.
I just don't understand how people can live with themselves after cheating. I am very committed to my marriage and would never dare to even take a chance. I know what I have...lol
There's something cheaters always say here, they will say it is good to taste different soups that all soups do not taste alike. I feel pity for some married people, their spouse cheat to the extent that they even stop hiding it, they even cheat in the open.
There are always two sides of a story, and often people believe that they can't live on their own so it makes it difficult for them to leave. It is very sad indeed!
i tottaly agree, cheating is a choice not an accident -_-
Breaking boundaries is a human desire, imposed or self imposed or even agreed to, present a boundary. We are taught at early stages of development which path to follow, with so many leaders and programming toward infidelity and self over humanity.
Integrity, once breached never returns.
Very true... what scares me the most is that things are just getting more and more acceptable. Nothing is really out of bounds...
We may be moving back to greater integrity, common sense and morals compass... at least it seems so lately. Once we get a few people out of society and our business that is.
Very true...I see it with the ones I teach. I asked them this question today in class, and they were totally all prim and proper and against cheating. They have set values which is a very good thing.
Great post @giantbear, In my opinion cheating happens because of two reason, that are lust and lack the sense of belonging. When we are not able to control our lust, we always felt not enough and want more. Along with it, we also forget that what we have now is the best things for us and should be grateful. If the things can be understood properly, cheating can be minimized.
That is very true. The lack of sense of belonging...hmmmm interesting thought there. Many people today feel as if they don't belong anywhere and no one likes to be the odd one out BUT people these days are also not satisfied and often very ungrateful with what they have because they get things so easily.
Up until I grew up and understood what commitment in relationship really meant, I was incapable of being faithful. This was based on an unfulfillable desire for the seeming safety of nurture, love and intimacy on my own detached terms - i.e, without any real commitment - i.e sex addiction! My belief at that time was that what she (my current then partner) didn't know, wouldn't hurt her, and that the fantasy that there might be someone better around the corner kept one foot in and one foot out the door - and all that time I imagined that she would not see or feel any of that! There you have a perfect recipe for a fucked up unfulfilling, distrustful relationship! What a dumb naive punk!
Eventually I figured out that committing to that one person, for whichever time span (married for 10 years, other subsequent relationships from 3 months to 4 years till now) the best partner in the world is the one right in front of you unless / until you decide your time together is complete.
I am just glad that you finally realized what you had right in front of you...I hear what you are saying though, only when you finally realized what true commitment is, then you can be happy and content. I am glad things worked out for you and I'm glad that she stayed with you...she must love you very much!
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