Happily NEVER after...The story of my divorce #project positivity

                                       

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Many people believe that they only have one soul mate. We all search for that ONE specific person that we can share our lives with. Someone to understand us, someone that will be there in all circumstances and motivate and support us in everything that we do. 

We all believe that we marry for the right reasons, and when we get married we have these hopes and dreams that everything will work out for the best, and that everything  will be like a fairytale. Happily ever after...........

Then SHIT HAPPENS. LIFE HAPPENS....KIDS HAPPEN!

I am sure that all people strive towards happiness. No one truly wants to be alone, or wishes to grow old alone. But life is not always that easy. To get through a divorce is certainly not the easiest thing to work through. I will never support divorce. Divorce is the most traumatising  experience I believe anyone could go through. Whatever lead to my divorce doesn't matter... the only thing that matters is that I held on for as long as I could and then I left him. 

All my hopes and dreams for the future got shattered into tiny little pieces. I felt alone. I felt UTTERLY alone. He was haunting me. If I went somewhere, he was there. I couldn't get away.....He shouted at me in front of my kids...demoralized me in front of my children. He tried to break me....AND HE NEARLY DID. 

I was flat on the ground. I did not know how to get up again. (I knew I had to) For my own sake and for my two beautiful sons - So I packed my bags, and I left town for a month. I sent him a text message that I will be gone for some time and he could see the kids when I got back.  

I went to visit my mom and dad.

They supported me with my decision. I felt safe for the first time in a long long time.  During this time I had time to think. I knew I had some decisions to make, and I knew I had to clear my head from all the bullshit he forced into my head.  I had to decide what I was going to do...... My parents looked after my kids so that gave me enough free time to spent on my own. (Which I needed desperately)  I spent some quality time with my children, to try and repair that broken image they had of me. 

I thought a lot. ....I had to try and get back a little piece of myself.....How could one man make any woman feel the way I did??  

My brother came to visit my parents during that same time, and one day while we were driving down to the beach, he played me this song.

https://youtu.be/k4V3Mo61fJM

The next morning after yet another sleepless night,  I put my foot down and decided that today was the day! I knew I fell down, but I also knew that it was not the way you fall down that mattered, but the way you stood up! So I decided to fight back in the best way that I could. I would not allow my children to turn out like their father. 

When I got back home, I would no longer let him intimidate me. I would ask my friends to be present everytime he came to fetch the kids. I made an appointment with a lawyer and she compiled the contract for the divorce to be finalized. He didn't contest anything and I received everything that I asked for. (I went to court alone for the divorce and I cried all the way home) I was sad but I knew I had my life back. And my confidence.

The minute that I took control back of my life, he knew that he had lost. 

Today we only communicate about the children(if needed) but they are more grown up now, and I don't think that they are broken people or will turn out broken adults, because of this terrible ordeal that we put them through. They are well balanced kids and they are doing well.

I found someone else and we finally got married a few years ago:) He has helped me raise my sons for the last seven years. I couldn't ask for anyone more loving and caring than my husband. He is not perfect, but he sure is perfect for me. 

My husband understands perfectly what I went through as he went through a similar experience. We have both learnt from previous mistakes, and we work hard to enjoy our lives together. I will never ever let anyone treat me the same way as I was treated before. I am more confident these days. I am still overweight, but my husband accepts me just the way I am. 

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