Flight Of The Procrastinators

A Few Words On Waiting Til The Last Minute By Procrastikat

Today was an interesting day. Well, everyday is an interesting day for me; as I tend to enjoy all of the minutia of life. That, however, is a conversation for another blog post. The day started out early, as today was Bi-annual Pinata Candy Procurement Day. Both of my children's birthdays fall right after Easter and Halloween, and a few years ago I started making them pinatas on their birthdays. This festive idea was born out of candy from those respective holidays being marked 50% off the day following each holiday at my local big box store. The other reason was a sort of a "challenge accepted" theme. I will cover my pinata chronicles in a future post. Imminent entertainment is assured.

So this morning I bought candy, birthday party supplies, 4H fundraiser supplies, a wedding present, groceries, and all manner of life detritus all in one shopping trip. I made it home in short order due to my hatred of purchasing items in any commercial setting, and had just sat down to eat breakfast as the clock chimed noon. I then felt my phone buzz, as I always keep it silenced. Apparently, my boss was at a conference and our newest employee was direly ill. Ten minutes later I was walking through the library door. Shortly after "it" began.

In the USA, the normal deadline for paying your pound of flesh, er, I mean taxes, to the federal government is April 15th. This year, as that date fell on a Saturday, the must pay by date was extended until the 18th. As a librarian all that means to me is that my copying and printing skills get to be harshly utilized for a couple extra days this year.

There are different kinds of procrastinators. My favorite sub-type has to be the Floatcrastinator. They totally wait until the last minute to do their thing, but they don't have any sense of urgency about the impending deadline. Today, the IRS' website was chopping off the top of any form that we tried to print. We found a workaround by downloading the forms as pdf's and printing them that way, but I honestly don't think that the Floatcrastinator cared that we were struggling with their form printing sanctity. The forms had printed fine for months, but not this day.

This is a graphic representation of maximum Floatcrastinator speed....

My least favorite sub-type is the Inconvenienator. One lady waited until twenty minutes before closing, came swooping into the library in a panic, and proceeded to have us look up a bunch of obscure tax forms. She then needed to stare at said forms for 18.5 minutes before loudly announcing that she just had to print out certain sections of no less than 3 different forms and their subsequent instructions. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but the computers automatically shut down 15 minutes before closing, and I really do get tired of listening to her moan and gnash her teeth over something that she knows happens everyday. A process that I have absolutely no control over.

So the hours today rambled on like an IRS-themed folk song. There were faces pinched with worry as we printed out extension forms, voices lifted in agitation as they railed against the injustice of it all, and defeated looks of acceptance as Turbotax approved receipts and tax forms rolled off of the laser printer with a high pitched whine of government compliance accompaniment.

Actual picture of me after my shift today.

In closing, I'll say this: The right to extend a task needed done until the edge of its appointed time is reserved for all to engage in if they wish. It is none of my business how others choose to live their life. However, I reserve the right to be amused at your entirely avoidable distress even as I offer you exemplary customer service. Thank you procrastinators of all kinds; you bring me great joy and keep my copy and printing skills up to date!!!

And as always, all of the images in this post were taken by the author on her cat hair covered iPhone.