Build It, Bicycles, And Benadryl

With no small amount of hesitancy I strode to the window and beheld the non-coniferous carnage. One of the ornamental trees next to our library had decided to shed one of its tops. Thankfully is shed its bark skin at a moment that did not include squashing the landscape guy that was weed-eating at the time, that would have been even more inconvenient.

Before long I was on the phone with our district's maintenance man, and shortly thereafter I was out in the tempest asking the landscapers if they would take the tree top with them as they departed for the day. I also made a little note to self to always check the weather forecast before adorning myself with clothing for the day, as it just felt sort of diminishing to fight with my circle skirt while trying to appear professional. At least the weed-eater dude was smiling at my impromptu Marilyn Monroe impression.

The day progressed with all the fervor of a coyote stuck in a dumpster, the crashing tree a symbol of what was to come. I dealt as best I could with odd patron problems, a co-worker with crashed blood sugar, a co-worker with hives from their cold, late courier delivery, and the list goes on. Maybe I would survive this day sanity in tact!

Oh, the fanciful thoughts one tends to entertain when things are progressing nicely! I had just returned from monitoring the after school program with Miss M because of course a certain patron that causes problems decided to show up. I was feeling rather calm as I had spent the last twenty minutes coloring a picture of a koi with a few after school kids while listening to Miss M deal with a surprise USDA inspection. My mellow was harshed fully when I heard these dreaded words uttered at the front desk:

"Someone stole my bike."

While one of my competent co-workers took all the details, I, as acting manager got to call police dispatch. Within a small frame of time we found footage of the bike thief on the security cameras and @jacobtothe and I spent a few restorative minutes uttering oaths of retribution regarding the mobile property pilferer. There is something so incredibly malevolent about a person that would steal a child's bicycle, may the stings of ten thousand rubber bands fall upon them!!

My positive resolve was holding, but barely at this point. Life likes nothing more than to poke its fingers into your ribs when your gasping for a bit of rejuvenative breath, and sure enough I felt the sting of those humorless fingers. My co-worker was hosting an after hours computer class for seniors, and there must always be two of us present when the library is open. My boss was supposed to be the other person present.

Well, thought I, I'll just have a few extra hours to put on my time sheet, no biggie. Attitude stabilized, bicycle situation rectified, I proceeded to process holds. It was then that I pretty much gave up on Tuesday, for I discovered that I had to call my favorite patron, the lecherous lout. It was late enough in the day that I thought he might not be able to make it to the library to pick up his holds before closing. I was wrong.

This ill-mannered barnacle is normally pieces of cake or me to deal with, but on this particular day the inebriate article sorely tested my resolve. I was right in the middle of helping a patron who was paying her fines when the drunken dolt marched in and slapped a pile of change onto the counter in front of the poor patron that I was trying to help. In the middle of making change for a twenty I began to see red, even Kat's have their limits, and rude, boorish behavior will ignite moi. Thankfully, before the hobbit harpy exploded, one of my lovely co-workers must have sensed the imminent carnage, for she hustled the hulking horror over to the far side of the circ desk. Never have I been so grateful that we vacuum the rugs at the end of the day, for I don't know if I could have taken the non-melodic, vodka-soaked wise cracks from Sargent Douche at that moment.

Everyone has tough days at work, and in reality mine wasn't too bad. However, you can bet your last toaster pastry that I hope my boss recovers quickly!

So, do any of you have any tales of absent boss terror to share? I will gladly express empathy and commiserate with you all in a most comradely way.

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