It’s that time of the year when everyone is asking for, and looking forward to, one new thing or the other. By now, almost everyone must have identified various things/people they intend to cut off and all the things they intend to start doing. There seems to be so much motivation on every corner to do away with the old. It makes it look as though old things deserve no love.
But as much as y’all will like to discard the old stuff in your life and cling to new and shiny things, there’s one thing I’d rather stick with no matter how old it gets; my relationship. I don’t know about you but I definitely don’t want a new relationship this year!
Your relationship is one thing you should always look to hold on to as the days go by. It’s one of the things you need to continually work on, looking for ways to build on and improve it. It is also a very tricky topic to address simply because there’s no “one size fits all” blanket solution for relationships. Every single relationship is unique and is a product of very different individual things. This makes it almost impossible to tell people what to do and how to run their relationships.
However, in the midst of all the differences, some common grounds still exist; the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Sometimes, the grass is amazing on the other side. Sometimes, moving on is a no-brainer. Most times, the issues you run away from will be waiting for you where you eventually run to.
There are basic issues of life that are present everywhere and you can’t really run away from them. Instead of running, why not try to learn to properly address the issues?
To properly address an issue, you need to identify what the issue is and why it exists. As simple as that sounds, it’s not always an easy task. You’ll most likely lie to yourself over and over again, masking what the real issue is and blaming it on something more palatable but this will, at best, only paper over the issue for the time being. Figuring out what the true cause of the problem is, goes a long way in helping to find a solution. This solution could either be for you to walk away or for you to stay and fix it.
You should also know that relationship issues come dressed in different costumes.
When you have two people from completely different backgrounds coming together, it’s almost impossible to not find areas of conflict. You were probably brought up to do things in ways that are completely different from how the other person does things. You probably didn’t always talk about how you felt growing up but the other person grew up in a very open family. You maybe exhibit an insane amount of calmness in the face of a storm but to the other person, a calmness like that means you’re not concerned about the issues brewing the storm. In all these cases, no one is necessarily right or wrong but yet these issues cause an insane amount of rancor and in times like this, it’s very easy to claim and believe that you probably weren’t meant to be together.