I recently heard the question why we humans "expect our lives to get better in the course of existence".

I am 48 and when I look back I always had this subconscious expectation that what future holds for me should top the former events.

I realized that my youth & young adulthood was somehow the best - and simultaneously my worst - times of my life.
Nevertheless there was this underlying faith that times of great accomplishments & projects do still lay ahead of me. One can get 60 and still thinking this way.

We are so full of it. Of not wanting to just be ordinary.

I am having some difficulties to give up those dreams and hopes either for money (that I gave up long ago) or for fulfilling an extraordinary role.

It helps to become uglier and not so healthy any more. LOL!

Do you miss to be a father? You'd have the right age. Did you plant a tree?
What about the ... was it a wooden house? you aim for?

I more and more realize how much influence I already have on the people I get in touch with. It's not by what I get response and also many things people do not tell me because they are unaware of what influence is there. But lately I was thinking about my brother and the impact he always had and has on me (and now my son). I was downright surprised in that moment and thought: Alright, this will be the case with all other people, too! This should be good enough.

You probably will never witness the revolution of consciousness you are now a part of and creating it for future generations. That is somewhat difficult to accept but it's true.

P.S. have a good recovery.