I assume this person is conscious and able to communicate -- which is how you know s/he is so set against having the condition revealed. You also say that s/he doesn't know that you know the serious consequences this person faces. That makes this extra tricky.
Were I in your position I would have to reveal my knowledge to the injured (ill?) person, which I understand is risky and you'll have to deal with the reaction. But assuming I could then talk reasonably and at length with this person, I would make sure s/he absolutely understood the gravity of the situation. No sugar-coating it. No sparing their feelings. This is too serious to hold back.
I would do my very best to persuade him / her to let me act in their best interests ... emphasizing how serious and permanent the choice will be. It would also be a no-holds-barred conversation.
I would talk about the impact their choice will have on family and loved ones. If appropriate I would tell this person sincerely, "I love you. I want the best for you. I do not want this to happen." Insofar as possible I would give them the opportunity to change their mind at a later time. (I realize this may not be possible. You would have to make the person very aware of this!)
If ultimately I couldn't get permission to "go public" with the matter, much as I would grieve over this choice, I would have to respect that.
Even in their best interests I don't think I have the right to over-ride their wishes. But again, I would do my level best to obtain their consent to let me help. Otherwise, I believe my hands are tied without it.
I don't envy you this terrible choice. My thoughts and heartfelt prayers go with you.
@enchantedspirit - you've given considerable thought to your reply, and that I appreciate very much. I apologise if it has seemed that I've ignored your reply, but in fact I've committed considerable time contemplating the possible benefits and ramifications of this approach, in fact I've spent the last several days debating my action based on it, and that has turned out for the very best, which reason you will read shortly;
Your approach is innately very closely aligned with my own: I cherish the openly transparent and self evident. However, I know this particular individual to be quite proud and highly reactive, as such a frontal approach, no mater how well intentioned, would result in the opposite outcome to that which is desired (least harm, maximum benefit).
As you can imagine, this has presented a very complicated and nuanced scenario;
This is precisely why I reached out to members of the steemit community - those with no vested interest, those who may respond without concern of offending me, the completely raw and impartial point o view.
And I'm glad I did.
The replies I received not only reinforced my ethics, they gave me the pause for consideration necessary to delay intervention until... well;
As it turns out, I received info just a few hours ago that this individual has now regained a modicum of independent mobility, enough that they are able to dress themselves (albeit with some labor) and have been provided with an electrically powered mobility aid. As anyone with experience in Independent Living can attest, independent locomotion and execution of will play a massive role in self determination. These in turn play a cyclical psycho-somatic role in in decision making.
To which end: I believe this individual will soon reach out to others, at the least verbally, to express their current condition, at which point others are able to step in a-la "the grape vine", and as such shall I.
I'm very grateful for your considered response, thank you for thinking so sincerely of someone you don't know, have never met, but caring about the fate of who you may never encounter.
It speaks volumes of your character.
I AM SO GLAD to read that this situation seems to be improving, as least insofar as it can for now. I appreciate that dealing with proud and volatile personalities can be its own "tough situation." (I grew up with people like that!!!) I also know about delays in responding because of real life concerns. However much it would be convenient sometimes, we can't be in 8 places at once. (If we could be, I would be.)
I appreciate, too, how much this matter has affected you. I can truthfully say I have thought about you and this issue several times a day since I read it. I hope life continues to move in a better, more empowering direction for your friend. Sometimes, too, accepting the reality of the situation -- especially such a life-changing one ... takes time. Your friend is also dealing with a lot of stress and struggle, psychological as well as physical.
Both of you remain in my thoughts. Thank you so much for letting me know. Prayers may not help, but neither can they hurt ... and you have mine.
I hope you never have to write another post like this, but I must say, it was one of the most engaging experiences I've had on Steemit. Maybe one of the most thought-provoking ever -- because, as you said at the start, this was not hypothetical.
Sending <3 your way tonight. Use it wherever it's needed!
“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” ~ Mary Oliver
- Mary Oliver
I have little repose or response for such candid and heartfelt disclosure, other than the words of Friedrich Nietzsche:
Thank you for such honesty, it meant a lot, and gave pause for thought, an act there is oft less time for with every passing day in these times, and more's the pity;
Asking the question here another the wonderfully supportive and encouraging community of Steemit helped extend the time- and helped you focus on other things beside the dilemma.
This is very good news. Thank you for updating us :)
@neuromancer, while I am a competent writer, in some ways my wife is streets ahead of me. Since I can't improve on or add to what she has said, @enchantedspirit speaks for me.