Sorry sorry...sorry
"Sorry" doesn't always make things better.
Because of this little word people believe that no matter what they do, by saying "I’m sorry" everything is ok, everything is like it was before. Well, it’s not.
The first time sorry is always accepted but the second time -for the same reason- cancels the first one as well, you are not trustworthy anymore and your sorries mean NOTHING. I don’t wanna be mean but I think that most of the times people abuse it.
Undoubtedly there are times that we really regret but words don’t mean anything. If "sorry" is not accompanied with actions is pointless. And here lies the problem. Hearing someone saying I’m sorry 100 times and keep doing the same is worse than admitting he did it on purpose in first place.
Most of the times we know what is acceptable and what is not. But our selfish ego takes the wheel and doesn’t care about the consequences. So everything is done under total awareness of the situation. So saying I’m sorry afterwards, is what? You’ve done whatever you wanted and then you apologise or even worse you do it again. I don’t buy it.
The thing is to act like there is no sorry word. To be honest, kind, discreet and care about the outcome of your actions as if the "damage" can be irreversible. There is no guarantee in relationships -all sort of them- so be cautious before being sorry.
There is another level of complication. The driver at the wheel that is "sorry" is not the same driver at the wheel who did the deed. We do not have a unified ego, or "I", but any one of a multiplicity of sometimes quite contrary drives, feelings, attitudes etc. can be called up by a circumstance and react to that circumstance.
There is some hope in that we can develop an "observer"that takes note of all these different little "i"s and becomes mindful of what circumstance calls each of them forward to be "in charge", (LOL, actually to react).
After a while we can get some, then many, and hopefully eventually all, of them to serve our "Aim" in life. Then we would have a unified being that serves our higher Self.
I really like the concept of the different "I"s and it totally makes sense. It sounds chaotic and it actually is.. That's why human relationships are not a piece of cake. If we cannot fully control our own self how can we get along easily with others when so many "I"s inside us and outside us "fight" to take control?
The thought of the development/evolution you described is very interesting as well as the real or ultimate challenge of life. And it certainly meets my way of thinking about the meaning of life.. It is all about getting our higher Self in front and let him prevail...
Interesting thread...
It's like the sorry version of the driver, apologizes for the idiot mistake, of the same driver, who should have known better by the logical side of the driver.
....and that's why the standard human errs so much.
Pretty deep conversation. Thanks for this post, and inspiring conversation. I enjoyed it.
Άσε που το sorry δεν θα γίνει ΠΟΤΕ συγνώμη. Ποτέ όμως!
Αυτό είναι μεγάλη αλήθεια.. Δυστυχώς.. Καλώς ή κακώς έχει άλλη βαρύτητα το ένα και άλλη το άλλο..
Πραγματικά είναι μία λέξη που πολύ σπάνια τη δέχομαι....
από τους 10 ανθρώπους που θα την πούνε μπορεί ούτε ο ένας να την εννοεί...
Δυστυχώς έτσι είναι.. Είναι αυτό που λένε "από τότε που βγήκε η συγγνώμη, χάθηκε το φιλότιμο"...
Ακριβώς... Για αυτό και είναι και μία σπάνια λέξη που λέω... Και από ότι κατάλαβα Και εσύ το ίδιο κανείς....
Κι εγώ το ίδιο καθώς προσπαθώ να μην κάνω εξ' αρχής στους άλλους αυτά που αργότερα μπορεί να μετανιώσω.. Κι επειδή άνθρωποι είμαστε και λάθη κάνουμε, αν γίνει καμιά στραβή, ζητάω συγγνώμη αλλά κοιτάω να μην το επαναλάβω.. :)
The tone of voice when the "sorry" is said counts too. It will help you differentiate if there is sarcasm or not
That's true! Most of the times you can understand if it is said from the bottom of the heart :)
πολύ σωστά! Και εγώ έχω ζητήσει συγνώμη αρκετές φορές και ούτε είμαι κατά της συγνώμης αλλά αν ξανακάνω το ίδιο λάθος δεύτερη φορά σίγουρα δεν είμαι τόσο ηλίθια ώστε να ζητήσω εκ νέου συγνώμη γιατί έχω και λίγο φιλότιμο ή έτσι θέλω να πιστεύω οπότε προσπαθώ να μην κάνω στους άλλους πράγματα που θα με πλήγωναν και έτσι έχω την συνείδηση μου καθαρή! :) Καλημέρα!
Συμφωνώ απόλυτα.. Αυτή ακριβώς είναι η άποψη μου και η στάση που κρατάω.. :)
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True that but hatred is not an example to be followed
I agree but who talked about hatred? "The thing is to act like there is no sorry word. To be honest, kind, discreet and care about the outcome of your actions "