Dreaming of Financial Freedom

in life •  9 months ago

Thinking out loud.

I apologise in advance, it’s just that I’m having a moment here and am mostly thinking out loud (isn’t that what blogging is anyway?)

I have been feeling the burden of my financial troubles recently, and wondering if this is just how life is going to be for myself and my family - perhaps I should just accept it and just focus on teaching my sons as best as I can to be more responsible with money (even teach them to save) and how not to fall into debt as I have done.

Looking back, I realise that I have spent my entire adult life in debt. This has become my norm, and I have had brief moments of relief after a couple of acting gigs, but those were always short-lived and offered me a glimpse into how life could be.

My financial troubles are entirely my own doing, in the past I was very much of the mindset, “you only live once”, “enjoy life, now’, and, “fuck it, you can’t take any of it to the grave.” However, now that I am older, wiser (I hope), and a mother, I feel so embarrassed about how irresponsible I have been in the past, and so ashamed about my current situation.

If I could go back in time knowing what I know now, I would do things so differently, but for now, I do the things that people in my situation shouldn’t do; I take out those payday loans, using debt to get out of debt (but sinking further into it), I do the lottery, I buy the odd scratch card, and I daydream about having financial freedom.

What would I be doing differently if I was financially free?

I daydream about this all the time... How would this happen? A winning lottery ticket, or an amazing job opportunity? Where would we live? What would life be like?...

I wouldn’t be employed, for one. I’d have my own business with the freedom to write to my heart’s content, whilst still having time for my family. I’d also like to think that I would volunteer more, whether it be for charity or for local places like my children’s school. I’d definitely spend more time with my friends! I believe that we would actually take a family vacation at least once a year, to travel with my loved ones (especially my kids) is something that I would really love to do. We’d live in a bigger place than we are in now, with a garden and a cat or a dog (or both).

I could go on and on and on, as I often do when I am lying in bed at night, but those are the things that always come up.

You know what? Even just listing that stuff has made me feel better - even if it’s not my current reality.

Staying open.

I’m doing as much as I can now to gain control of my finances and not repeat the same mistakes again. However, I must also remind myself to always keep myself open to miracles - anything could happen, and not necessarily in the way that you might expect it to.


Thanks for stopping by x

(Picture taken from PikTex app)

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Hang in there. I think we're all in the same boat. No one taught us how not to be in debt. Everything we're taught is get a loan for a car, get a loan for a house. You have to have credit cards to survive. With lessons like that we never stood a chance.

I turn 50 later this year and you know what? I have never owned a new vehicle. I have always been in some sort of debt, mostly medical, but have had credit card debt, I have filed bankruptcy. I was able to raise my kids to place value on different things, life, love ,relationships, to work on being better at things than I am. My daughter is excelling, granted she will have student loans, but other than that she has managed to stay debt free. My son, still finding his way. He's working on getting things paid off, but primarily, the job situation around here is pretty bad. He'll find his direction, I have no doubt about that.

So guess what...you're normal LOL. Focus on the kiddos, teach them right, so they don't struggle the way you have. Teach them to dream and not to let anything stand in their way.


Thank you so much (as always) for the words of encouragement and for making me feel “normal”. It’s so inspiring to hear about your journey with your own children, thanks for sharing that. It’s always lovely to hear from you! X


Likewise :) I think we're all more normal than the world tries to make us believe. We can just blame Disney for creating the fairy tales (LOL) as far as romance goes anyway. To be honest. I don't know anyone that is not in debt to some degree that it affects day to day living. Ok maybe 1 person, she has a home business and has to really work at it.