Are We Really Happier Without Children or a Spouse?

I read this article from the Guardian that says women without children or a spouse are happier. I quickly had a think about my own life. I'm now 36, single and childless. I don't plan to have kids. And I'm not worried about the clocking ticking whatever you say because I've already made up mind. And I have no regrets about my choices in life so far.

Don't get me wrong though. I'm not saying that having kids or family will make women or men unhappy. To each his own. No doubt that there are many married people who are happy and not miserable. A least that's what I see on social media all the time. Anyway, I just want to elaborate on this article and explain why I feel like the case is true to me.

See, I live in a very patriarchal society. I'm already considered crazy, even crazier than I already am. The most common question I get all the time after being asked how old am I is "why am I still not married?" There must be something wrong with me. Followed by "who will take care of me when I'm old?" I try to answer these questions honestly and politely that tend to shock most people. I tell them that my goal right now is to be able to afford a caregiver someday. I don't plan to have kids just to treat them as investments or slaves. And then there are times that I don't need to explain. This is my truth. And some people with the same mindset don't even need to ask me why. I've learned how to deal with this kind of uncomfortable interrogation. As I get older, I care less about what people think.

I'm not saying that I'm happier overall. That emotional state is a complicated thing. I can be thrilled, scared, or sad at any moment just like our bipolar weather here. And I like it this way. If I am not happy now, I don't think I'd be happier if I have kids anyway. I would probably be miserable. People say, "things will change" when you have kids. I'd be responsible they say. Or I would be pressured to be more responsible. But I don't want that kind of domestic pressure. The thing is when you have kids, it would be hard to admit your regrets, otherwise, the society will deem you as a bad mother or father. Despite the pressures of everyday life, nobody openly admits that they regret having kids because it just feels so wrong. Given my situation at the moment, having kids or a spouse would not be practical. Call me selfish but, I'm more focused on my goals right now.

The only thing that is sure is that I feel comfortable at this point in my life. I only have Me to stress about and that's enough. Maybe we, crazy single and childless women, are really the happiest subgroup in the population as the article says. Or maybe married people are happier, but only when their spouse is in the room when they're asked how happy they are. Who knows? Or maybe single women are unhappy because of the stigma and all that societal pressure. Maybe someday I will meet the right man and that will change. Or maybe I will meet the wrong man and that will change. And maybe I will meet the man who will make me feel miserable and unhealthy and die sooner. Who knows?