Appear Strong When You Are Weak

It was one hell of a week. I can conclude that justice didn't prevail in the end. Because there are things I cannot push anymore no matter how hard I try to appear to be strong.

We have this lowest form of local government wherein things are settled within the community first before anything gets to the high court. I know nothing about this since I have never been complained or complained about anything to the authority in my life. It is hard because if you are not from this town, justice might not be on your side. Things you say will be taken against you. Everyone watches your every move. So things didn't go well between me and my neighbor who happened to have some authority in the town. These past few months, things only got worse when the landlord was not hearing my complaints. The landlord failed to implement the tenancy rules probably because he is afraid of the authority of my neighbor in town. I was betrayed and was made to believe that this place is livable and that my work would be conducive to this type of environment. The result was that my inability to sleep due to the disturbing noise of my neighbor's animals right in front of my window and not being able to work without distractions. But I'm not only talking about the noise and sleepless nights, I'm talking about the psychological stress when people, I supposedly trust, failed to recognize my rights.

Never be afraid to say things. Be fearless.

This is a small town and everyone seems to be connected. I found out that the landlord is also connected to the town council. And me not being from this town, was treated unfairly during the hearings. They tried their best to instill fear in me. I almost didn't get my own hearing schedule as my neighbor was using his power to influence the proceedings and to prevent me from speaking up. They pressured me to drop my complaint/case against him. I was told that I am alone here and that it would be hard for me to go against them. But silence is indeed a betrayal.

I'm even having some serious thoughts about settling here in the future. I have forgotten that the government here is so corrupt that I lost my trust in authority completely. Nothing has changed until now. The strong eat the weak. As soon as I can get my project going, I will get the hell out of this hellish country. I need to move to another part of the island about 300km from where I am for now, for my own safety, and to start over. Paradise is hell.

The only time I showed signs of weakness and submission was when they thought it was over. But it was not.

Somehow I didn't really feel alone and defeated. I've been calling my friend from my city who was telling me what to do. Good thing I also have one really good friend here whose father has some government authority in another town. He and his friends gave me a lot of advice on how to be safe. He helped me file a complaint to the higher government level to make the town government aware of their unjust system. My hearing today still turned out to be very biased but at least they are now aware of what I could do. But yeah, it was like me against the world. I decide not to challenge them further or report them to media anymore, not if I'm still here.

If something happens to me, at least my friends, my friend's father and his friends and the whole world will know.

With all the strong forces I'm against with, things like this might even cost my life, at least that was what I was told. It was such a very stressful moment for me. They must be rejoicing now. I've seen first hand that people in power will do everything they can to defend it. They will do everything they want at the expense of others. I have never felt intimidated and made to feel like an outsider in my life. After all my travels, I have only felt this in my own country.

I feel betrayed but I'm tired. I feel really angry but deep down, I just want to cry. It will haunt me while I sleep. In reality, I can only handle so much. There's nothing I can do but to let things go...however difficult. But where is justice here really? As far as I know, the world is just as fucked up.

Corporations, authorities, government, financial institutions or anyone in great power should realize that massive injustice is a very bad thing. Because they'll never know what it might cost them in return.