Accepting What I Cannot Change

For the past few days, I was dwelling on the things that didn't turn out as expected, causing me debilitating anxiety. Situations in life that I cannot control. Clients that were supposed to book their tours with me, cycling to the beach peacefully and stress-free, essential things that I could have obtained, and so on. Accepting situations or people that I don't like is probably one of the difficult aspects of life. I'm all for taking action and changing whatever I can because this is what it means to live freely. If there's someone who can implement or prevent the things that I want or don't want, it means that person is my master. If I really want to be free, things should not be up to other people. However, inevitably, there will be things that I have no control over. People will change their minds, some things cannot be achieved, and there are those will try to bring out the worst in me. There are times when I feel like, the only thing I can change is Me, and that's how I can be really free.

Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about accepting things that badly need to be changed in this world, like rich countries exploiting poorer countries, political and racial domination, subliminal message about power domination on the mainstream media, silencing the majority, war for profit, massive corruption and poverty, and the destruction of the planet by unethical corporations we support. These problems exist and need our collective action, they cannot just be accepted and denied. Because most people have misinterpreted all these self-help and eastern spirituality books. Like, don't expect a child in Yemen dying of hunger to accept things as they are. There are circumstances in life that have been brought upon them by external factors and sadly, these things are what most people in modern society don't understand. It is not their fault and fault alone. And whether we like it or not, we've all contributed to this shit too.

As much as I feel like being realistic is the way to make the change, there are just times that I feel like I need to be a little more positive in order to move forward. There are things that I need to let go and ignore in my own personal life. I feel like I am trapped in worrying about things that I have no control over. I can only do so much.

I think acceptance is not the same as passivity or resignation. I can continue to push forward despite accepting that there are things beyond my control. I have to make a choice otherwise I will just die inside that easy. Sure, I want people to change, I want this world to change. And sometimes, the crisis seems to be the only way to wake people up, that much-needed jolt or electric shock to the bone to make them realize the reality. We are not just automatons that can continue living in blissful ignorance.

Should I really just cultivate my own garden? If I really want to live my life on my own terms, I should learn how to cope. There will be things, events, and people that will try to control me. And I will try to control them back. It's a vicious cycle. Sometimes, the only way to live is to accept and let go. If I cannot change a situation anymore, I am forced to change myself.

We are told to expect less to avoid disappointment. But I think disappointments are part of life and we should not avoid it. We should not fortify our walls or overprotect ourselves, otherwise, we will miss out on great things in life. Pain brings us into the reality and present moment. What we can do is to accept, create, and replace. Creating is motivating, and expecting is demanding.

There might be some things that I cannot change and control, and it doesn't mean I can't move on and live a meaningful life. As always, I can adapt and adjust to circumstances. I'll just focus on what I can do, and if it doesn't turn out as expected, I can move on to the next. One way or another, I'll live.

^{img src}