What a beautiful story, my father died when I was 5, my mother says he never talked abut his second world war army days, he too was scarred for life. I also helped my mother when my step father had cancer and died at home, I am the youngest of four, and the only one that was willing to be there, or could be there. I feel what you are going through, I have been there also. Stay strong my friend, you will come out the other side, with a knowledge you could only imagine to comprehend before. I wish I could upvote you more than my 0.03 cents, though I am afraid it is all I am worth on here. I give it all the same with love, stay strong, and may peace be with you.