Dear Steemy - I Want to Leave the State for Love

in #life8 years ago

Dear Steemy,

A month ago I met the woman I want to marry. She is a friend of a family member, and I fell in love with her the day we met. I have always thought that the movies where this happens are trash, and I still do but I'm in love. She lives in another state but this was home before she moved. Every second since that day we've been together, but her vacation ended and now she's back in her current state. I can't stop thinking about her, and we communicate all the time when we're not working or busy. I think I have to move to be with her, I haven't felt this way ever before. We're not planning on living together yet, but when her lease is up we will. I have the savings and I'm checking for interviews already for jobs, but I feel like I'm leaving everything behind too, like my friends and family. I have the savings but it's all happening so fast.

Lovestruck



Dear Lovestruck,

You got it, you got it bad. Maybe Cupid opted for an atom bomb instead of an arrow? If you're suddenly running for a copy of the Bridget Jones Diary in a mad dash attempt to up your sensitivity level, I'd hold off on the Netflix. Love is a many splendored thing, and it is arguably also a sea of chemical responses that distorts our judgement. Still, whatever voodoo happens, it's real and it can change the course of our entire life. Change is a good phenomenon, and a scary one too. When the future is unknown, the possibilities are boundless, but practical planning also has its place in life and keeps us grounded here.

Love is a Highway

I knew a couple that had met on a cruise and was married inside of a month, and have been for years now. And yet another couple who dated for years, and divorced shortly after marriage. There is no one size fits all for love. If love is a highway, then there are too many lanes to even count. What's important here is that you're feeling this strong of an emotion so suddenly. There are profound changes happening that were instigated by this one event, meeting this woman. And it sounds like the feeling is reciprocated, so congratulations you are now officially on the Highway of Love. There may be some traffic ahead, watch for road signs.

Something Like a Phenomenon

It's sounding like you're already leaning towards moving. But still, you have to face the fact that love is a phenomenon that can alter us deeply, and changing your life so suddenly will have the same effect. You may not realize it, but you're a creature of habit like everyone else, and when you move you won't have a favorite anything for a while. Sure, it's a new adventure and you will find you way, but don't trivialize the life you're currently leading, no matter who or what is at stake. If you're ready for a big change, and big it will be, then I wish you the greatest success. How our very lives are determined is such a phenomenon, this could be yours.

Burn a Bridge, Build a Castle

It is completely understandable to feel like you're burning bridges with this decision. Sudden life choices can seem bizarre to others, and the relationships we build in communities rests on a bedrock of trust and cooperation. Leaving suddenly may seem like abandoning everyone, but that may not be the case.

Instead of thinking about it as losing everyone, think about it as finding more of yourself. If you feel this is potentially "the one," the life lesson you learn, either way, will be an invaluable experience if you let it be. You're not burning a bridge behind you, you're building a castle up ahead. If you feel even slightly that you will deeply regret not taking this chance, your decision has already been made. I wish you the all the luck in deciding if you'll execute that decision.

Good Luck Lovestruck,
Steemy



Hi Steemit,

I'm Steemy, and this is Dear Steemy. The above is a real life situation that I've adapted for this anonymous blog about the real issues we talk about. This series of confessions comes from my long history of being entrusted with the secrets of others, a heavy weight that I hope to lift a little by sharing it here with the Steemit community.

If you would like some advice anonymously, you can email me @ [email protected]. Please be aware that I will post your issue, and my response to it, here on Steemit. Unless otherwise specified, I will not use any usernames or other identifying information, nor will I divulge any information in my possession.

This email is purely for those wanting to ask for advice, or share something they're working through. Any spam or post promotion will be gently ignored.

This is an anonymous forum for sharing the hard-to-face situations where any advice would be appreciated. This is not to be construed as medical or psychological advice. Please join the conversation with a comment!

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Really really enjoying these @Dear.steemy! such a valuable part of the community.

I can definitely relate to Lovestruck. It's why I left everything in the United States to go move to Chile and be with her. Thankfully it's working out so far.

Keep up the good work! [Again, my apologies for my 'immature' comment on one of your previous posts.] These are truly great.

No apologies needed, YOU are a welcome and valuable member of this forum, and I want you to be able to express your opinion. I don't ever snoop, myself ;)

I love that you left for Chile for love, that takes courage and willpower! Thank you for reading.

Great, now I have Usher stuck in my head. Haha!

Wasn't the 90's full of some fine R&B music though? I loved that music.

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