At a cross-road and hoping that the universe shows me a path

in #life5 years ago (edited)

This isn't my typical blog talking about cryptocurrency or my other interests, its a blog about life and the cross-road that comes with it. Probably I look back at this kind of post in a couple months and reflect on the fact that I got to share whats on my mind on the Steem blockchain, its quite a therapy for me. Here are my thoughts, always welcome to comment.

Generally speaking I am the adventurous type, I love an adventure and often called the free spirit type. I go about life looking at the positive side and seeing the cup half full rather than half empty. The last couple months of life has been some of my most challenging and mentally draining. Dealing with disappointments, set backs, disasters and lost of love ones has been some of the burdens I had to carry. When I started this journey all the way in 2015 I did not have a clue where I end up but my mentality then was keep pushing forward. The task set out was to finish off Medical school and get into a top MD/PhD research program focusing on Cardiovascular Immunology. My dad was one of my main drivers and one of my biggest cheerleaders and supporters. I love research, it has always been my passion, I love formulating a theory and playing around with data. Science is my sweet spot, I can sit for hours taking in lectures and talking about theories, I excel at it winning several Science fair competition and probably one of my most exciting piece is on Electromagnetic induction using Faraday law to produce electricity. That paper and project got me first place and earn me a spot at the regional Science fair competition with prospects of taking part at the international level. Looking back at it I wonder how so much promise did not realize that potential. I refuse to blame my background, there was opportunities I let pass and I did not surround myself with the right network of people capable helping me reach my goals. Getting into university was pretty easy, getting 4.0 GPA was also easy but I loss focus along the way getting into bad relationships which took a toll on me. Looking back at it, I wish I had a few shoulders over me to guide me through that phase of life. The wisdom I have gain now, I wish I had then, I would do a lot of things different. Nonetheless, in 2015 I made a move which I thought would be best for me and my dad supported me along the way. The idea was to do the required credit hours and courses to qualify for USMLE Step exams, take it and then use my Step score as a bridge to get into a top program in the USA. This is usually the route most people from the Caribbean take and many found huge success. Other options include Cuba, but if you know me you know I am a full blown capitalist so you won't get me thinking of Cuba as a option. I would respect and love Cuba and its people, but that definitely not my cup of tea. Anyway that's another topic for a different blog. Looking back at it, I would still stand by my decision today. There was some unknown variables one of which was the death of my dad. That death took a huge toll on me and was a big financial blow, but more importantly I lost someone I could have talk to about anything. It made my walk a very lonely one and I miss him dearly. His death left a void in my life and the responsibility he took upon himself for me very few people would take. It also meant that paying tuition became a headache student loans did not come through. This was another stumbling block for me, funding for non-American citizens are drying up and the scholarship I received wasn't enough to cover expenses. It meant that I had to put things on pause. At that time I took a rather active interest in cryptocurrency as it was only something I just kept up with the news. Funny enough if I had put the money I invested in school in Bitcoin in 2015, I have enough to pay for school in full, buy a nice beach front property and still have enough left over to help others and pursue other projects. To add further setback to my plans I had to deal with Hurricane Irma which totally wipe me out, this then followed up with a year long bear market. Lets not even talk about all the scams from mining contracts to trading bots to shitcoins. At the beginning of 2018 I had well over 100k which was enough to resume school but greed got to best of me and continue to pour money into falling knives(shitcoins). It was a fun experience but a brutal reminder that trying to be smart isn't always the best move. Now I am at a cross-road where I feel I need to take a new step or better put recent unpleasant experience in my present country I find myself says, its time to make a move. For the first time I am somewhat lost, I don't have the capital needed to make the moves I want to make and I don't know whats my next best move. I tend to make calculated moves and playing out scenarios in my head just isn't as clear cut. So this is my cross-road, I have hash the summary of my experience and put it on the blockchain, its therapy for me and its going to be a good reflection for me. I really don't even understand the point of this blog but I feel its something that would benefit me as I hash out those thoughts and experience. It would be a good time that the universe shows me a sign, I need one. I feel like a ship in the wide ocean with sails up but no wind.

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