the only one holding your bravery is yours alone. it is indeed difficult and I do get that. you can always try at the very least. eventually, you'll just realized you just overcome it. i do got support as well from some from my family way back then because in reality, not all people within the family does know compassion. they only sympathize. the real ones, whether by blood or not will wholeheartedly and unconditionally reach out without a blink. appreciate that you include everyone on this. you are already a positive impact for those who are currently in that hazy mindset. keep doing this. you shed your little light to them and it makes a big difference already.