Confessions of Life - Religion

Who am I...? Where am I...? What am I...? Am I lost? Can I be found? Am I real or do I not count? What sort of influence do I have, that crazes everyone to fight in dark? What is my name, and what my purpose? How have I come to be this ominous? How can I be right where I stand, yet still be nowhere? How come I’m different for everyone to understand, yet still mean more than they can grasp? I can’t remember, I can’t remember, who made me or what I’ve come to serve here; yet all those round me feel the power, they kill each other and they do not cower. They give me names full of desire, straight from their heart, their strength, their soul, with no defiance. There is the one who calls me kindness, another murderous and a liar, there is but he who calls me nothing, and he who thinks I’m not just one thing. There is the one who calls me balance, and yet another one who calls me father. There is someone who calls me a soldier and yet one more, who calls me king. There is someone who calls me teacher, and one who dreams I’ll grant him virgins if he pleases my will. There is someone who perceives me as the sun; the moon is also something that he thinks I am. Some others think I am their wish, but how is that so if so many wishes contradict?

I think and think and cannot grasp, what is it really that I am? How can I see them, but they not me? How can I see them but not see me? When people have it, it’s called amnesia; but I was here well before any living creature. I’ve seen them live grow old and die; I’ve seen them gaze up in the sky. I’ve seen the cycle come and go. Different people; same goal! I’ve seen technology advance; I’ve seen the gift I gave them shine black. Oh, who am I, and where is this? How can I know about the abyss? How could I just sit here forever, but have no clue as to my questions whatsoever. Is there not one to give me an answer? When I just die and come back ten times greater? I live in you, you’re born with me. You wander off and carry me. You carry burdens of that question, yet you all settle in peace of mind with your imperfection. I am eternal but you are so fragile; so it makes sense to stop thinking about my desire. While I bring nothing upon myself, I bring you happiness, yet madness and hell. I cannot leave, I will not leave. I somehow know I must be relieved. Beyond your goals beyond your health. Beyond your years beyond your tears. Beyond your lives, beyond your deaths. I will never give you my final breath.

You give me soil, I give you fruit. Sometimes it’s bitter, sometimes it’s good. Yet sometimes you’re just being deceived. For I am powerful a thought, and in my path I leave but naught. The people who choose to ignore me, use my name to take your glory. They call it holy war and bless me, yet in reality they truly curse me. Yet when I’m cursed, what’s cursed is you. For you have me, I’m part of you. They gave me names they called me fate. They gave me names they made me gates. They called me Buddha; called me God. They called me Allah and called me Zeus. They called me pagan, Wiccan, Hindu. They offered me sheep and sang me hymns too. Sometimes they said that I was many, yet most would say that I’m one deity. Some wish to say my name is Jesus. Some say I’m nothing but an idea. A fake old elixir for human fear. Yet they don’t know, they gave me labels. Yet I cannot see for myself across their fables. For I am something out of nothing. For I am nothing you can touch. You cannot see me, you cannot hear me. You cannot smell me you cannot feel me. You cannot hear the words I speak, and yet you think of me every night before you sleep.

I am not God, I am not gods. I am not power, I am not force. For I am nothing; I’m but a tool. And every wise man I turn to a fool. For what I think, for what I grasped. I cannot give a name to my empty parts. I am your question, I am that thought. That insecurity, deeply in your minds host. They name I came up with was religion; stretching from the start to the end of every region. I am not the truth, I am the question. I offer no light, I’m the darkness in depression. The choice you made for me is noble. The path you chose for me is chance. And when you live I am born with you. And when you perish I fall with you. There is no right, there is no wrong; when thinking of me night or dawn. There is an answer that is easy. How bizarre that I am relieved with death which is so displeasing. When for me people keep on living. For me the people keep on breathing. They all rejoice upon my name. Whether I have a figure in their heads, or just a will; that’s still fair game. The guardian of their every night. The question of their deepest fright. I can be good, I can be evil. I bring up light and darkness either. You cannot find me in one another. It will not satisfy you on any hour. That potent wind upon your soul. Let carve a path and find me on your own.