With virtually no musical talent, about nine years ago, I started my first band on a whim. Music has taken me on a journey not everyone is lucky enough to experience; I’ve played in my band Batwings Catwings for almost seven years now, and no doubt, it’s the best team I’ve ever been on. Here are the most important lessons I’ve gleaned — they’ve been more valuable than anything I’ve ever learned at work.

1. You must agree on a mission and commit to it

Pretty much the №1 thing you do when you start a band is figure out what you want it to sound like. Having a strong idea of this and being aligned on it as a team is the only way you’ll get it off the ground. For our first band, my two friends and I knew we wanted it to be magical, mystical, minimal, and punk-inspired. It was pretty easy from there to create the sound: a loud punk growl accompanied by a tinkling glockenspiel, the sizzle of a snare, and the tribal tone of a floor tom. It was different, which made people notice and like it. We were even able to record and release an album with few resources.

My first band: Puppy Dog

I’ve since started other bands, and from my experiences, the thing that can really get in the way of pushing things as far as they can go (ultimately, there’s no limit), is being passive about doing everything possible to get there. If your goal is, say, to tour and get paid well to play festival circuits around the world, that probably won’t happen if everyone isn’t willing to take off work for periods of time to sleep on floors and play in podunk towns in order to make it happen. In other real-world scenarios, like at a “grown-up” job, your team is less likely to reach its full potential if everyone isn’t all-in to do whatever it takes.

2. You don’t have to have one leader

I’ve never asked to be a leader, but I ended up being that person for our band when we’re onstage. Since I sing, hold the microphone, by default I’ve become the most empowered to engage the crowd, and I try my best to fulfill that role. Because of my visibility, people assume I’m the boss, but I’m not!

Our drummer is our “team captain.” He’s pretty awesome — he’s passionate about what we do and willing to do a lot of the legwork like book most of our shows and coordinate with our record label, press, all of it. But he can’t do everything, even though he tries. He could often do better at delegating. It’s great to have someone managing things, but we’re all equal and are free to take the reins on whatever we feel we can contribute to, like directing a music video. Might as well take advantage of each person’s talent and give everyone a sense of ownership over the project.

Team cap’n in the middle, but everyone’s the boss

3. DIY + DIT (Do It Together) = Maximum Stoke

Our band is founded on a DIY ethos. We write all of our songs, usually record, mix, and produce them ourselves, make our own music videos. For me, this do-it-yourself approach makes me feel so, so proud of our work. And there’s no way we could get any of it done without each person adding their own unique flair (and man power).

4. Listen and be present in the moment

If we’re only focused on our individual instruments then we might as well be solo artists. If this is how you play, the integrity of the music drowns, and it probably sounds like a pretty big mess. Same thing if you’re playing five-on-five on a basketball court — you have to pay attention or you will miss open shooters, drop passes, and blow fast breaks.

Also, live performances should be fluid. Some musicians have a more robotic style, which could work for them, but in my opinion, music has to have a feeling, a soul, and that can only happen when you’re actually open while you’re playing it.

And since humans aren’t perfect, we also have to be able to hear each other and adapt.

Just listening to the radio

5. When you mess up, just keep going

That brings me to another important point. We can’t always control everything onstage. Every now and then, a power supply might cut out, there could be feedback, or you might even play or sing the wrong note. It happens. But the worst thing you could do as a performer is draw attention to it by stopping and starting over. That’s not very punk rock. The secret is, most people don’t even notice your mistakes. Don’t dwell on them, and don’t be hard on yourself or others (no need to point fingers!). Just play right through it and move on.

6. Do what you say you’re gonna do

It sounds so simple, but think about how many times you’ve flaked or been flaked on. It goes without saying that you have to actually show up for practices, shows, games, whatever the key moments are for your team. But you also have to follow through on the small things. Letting others down could diminish the trust that is so important to a group dynamic.

Ooh, I was so resentful the other day when I felt like my bandmate didn’t trust me to write set lists for everyone. When he asked me to do it the day before a show, I said I would, and I meant it. Then at the show, he asked someone else to. He probably didn’t consciously do this because he thought I was going to drop the ball, but I couldn’t help but interpret it as a lack of trust. I’m not going to claim I always do what I’m supposed to, though. If I honestly look back at whether he would have reason to think the task wouldn’t get done if he didn’t hold on to control of it, I’m sure I could find a few times when I’ve let stuff slip through the cracks. So, keep building trust by being consistent.

7. Be flexible or else you’ll go crazy

You know compromise — it’s that key to a healthy relationship, and this goes for groups, too. Our drummer has two kids, one guitar player lives an hour away (two hours in LA traffic!), and another guitar player gets last-minute work assignments during rehearsals. Everyone has a day job. Getting to practice every week, let alone setting up shows, tours, recording and mixing songs — it all requires patience and a lot of coordination. It also took like a year and a half longer than expected for us to release our latest record.

Was very drained after working my butt off on this band

I’m often frustrated when I can’t have some control over our timeline. But that doesn’t do anything really besides make me feel crazy — which is no way to operate when you’re dealing with others. Rather than bring anxious energy into the circle, it’s just better for everyone to practice flexibility whenever possible.

8. Don’t quit

At least twice in the past I’ve seriously considered giving up on this band. I mean, this is really hard, emotional work.

The first time I almost left, it was because I was tired of our drummer telling me what to do. That’s why he’s the team captain — he pushes each of us to be better. Sometimes that’s overwhelming, but it can also be a great opportunity for growth if you don’t take it personally.

One of the original lineups of Batwings Catwings

The second time was last year, when our bass player announced he was leaving. It happened around the time when we’d been sitting on our album for about a year, in a holding pattern with our record label. It just kind of felt like it wasn’t meant to be, and I was ready to give up. But then, I leaned on the support of my bandmates. We found a new bass player who was really excited about our band, and was as easy-going as the last guy, which I felt would be really important for our dynamic. Basically, everything fell into place when I opened myself up to the potential of the future.

The thing is, if I would have quit, it would have been really unfair to my team and to all the work we’d done to complete our record. Not only that, but all of us would have also missed out on some rare opportunities, like going on tour in Japan in two weeks!

9. Take yourself seriously

I see a lot of people start bands or projects and give it a weak effort because maybe they’re subconsciously setting the bar low for themselves — so if they fail they won’t feel like it’s that disappointing. I say, whatever you decide to do, put your heart into it, and don’t be afraid to care about it. This attitude will definitely inspire whomever you’re collaborating with, too.

Obvs a very happy moment in my life while playing a show

10. Do it because it’s fun

Most importantly, though, don’t forget to have fun together. If you’re bored, you’re not only wasting your time, but everyone else’s. When you’re enjoying yourself and your vibration is high, others around you absorb that positive energy. That’s essential for team morale, and for getting fans and followers hyped to watch you shine.