My man, I respect the HELL out of this post. You have taken me back to a time in my youth where I was very out of control. I, like you, struggled with alcohol use when I was younger.

I started drinking when I was 12 years old. No one ever knew, I kept it that way intentionally. I knew something was wrong with me, so for me it was no potential bragging right. I knew I was doing something self-destructive, but at the time it was the only thing that was helping me, so I didn't want to stop. It almost ruined my life before it ever began....

I can now safely and confidently say that I am now able to have a few drinks and still possess the willpower to stop myself and tell myself I had enough for the evening.... and even with that, it happens few and far between, usually when my band has a show. Sometimes even then, it'll be a coin toss. I am in a very good place now, where my willpower is strong. Plus, cannabis use not only feels better for me, but it's also a much more helpful form of use (medicinally and otherwise) for me.

Anyway.... I give you kudos for posting this up. I can relate to struggling, being a recovered alcoholic myself who started and continued at way too young of an age, so this post really hit home for me. Your post has reminded me of a younger me, of a time where I really could have lost everything I had yet to gain out of life, and having looked back on it just now as I have, I want to thank you for putting this up, because it has allowed me to remind myself of how truly blessed of a life I have in the here and now. And it humbles me and makes me feel far more grateful for what I have. You're a good dude, and a thought-provoking intellectual to boot, and I respect you my friend. Well done. :)