Is life worth living?
Sorry for my long absence. It has been more than 21 days since my last post. Don't worry. I'm not contemplating suicide.
I guess that my philosophical journey has taken me to this unavoidable conclusion. I've been developing my relativistic view of morals, of purpose, of belonging, for many years now, and I've made a few posts about various topics contained in this set of views, but they had never solidified as they have now. I think I was in a stage of breakthrough to get here. Though it's not a very pleasant place to be in, I'm sort of satisfied that I finally arrived.
Where I was before
When I was a teenager, I used to hear stories of people committing suicide everywhere. An uncle died to it (a very dear one) and a close friend of mine had a brief encounter with death a few years ago because of his self-harming tendencies. When in the face of these decisions, I used to say, both to myself and to others, "well, I wouldn't ever kill myself".
I meant it. I saw no purpose in it, no good. There are too many things to enjoy in life. Watching movies, playing games, taking trips, drawing, writing, talking to nice people. I mean, there are surely some bad moments, but is that worth ending my life?
But then I reached a point in my journey where I began to notice that these moments of enjoyment are as fleeting as a thin layer of water under summer sunlight. I'm sure I remember that moment was there right a second ago. I remember the sensation, but the sensation is not there anymore. 24 hours, an ice cream takes 30 minutes to eat. Does that make the other 23 hours and a half worth living?
Let's see it as telling jokes to a patient with terminal brain cancer. They are under a few treatments that make their life longer, but these treatments are unendurable. And in the latter stages, there are plenty of humiliating symptoms of breaking, of mortality, that are very unpleasant, if not torturing, to live through. What are jokes worth to them? They laugh a little for twenty seconds and then there still are so many hours of pain.
Anhedonia
Is it worth it to live like that? Is it worth it to live a life of depression? Why would an unmedicated person with anhedonia want to keep living? I guess that since both suffering and enjoyment are limited, it's not that bad to live a numb life, but it's not that great either. When trapped in the terror of an incoming timebomb of responsibilities that would make living much harder, what's there to live for?
I used to be angry at my uncle for leaving us like that, for making me hurt so much when I learned about his death. I see the forlorn look in my father's eyes at any mention of him. This reinforced my feelings of not wanting to ever kill myself. I always remember whenever the thought ever so slightly tries to cross my mind: "there are always things worth living for, enjoyable things to do". But what if these things are insignificant in the face of greater despair?
Where I arrived
So this is where I arrived, I believe. I don't know if you would agree, but I changed my mind. If I found myself in a despairing situation, I reckon I would not consider the feelings of others, and I should not.
Why must I care that this person or that person feels sad of my leaving if by staying I would be feeling terrible myself? By measuring priorities, both in morality and in basic life philosophy, my well-being should not be sacrificed for the emotions of others. Would I not be a slave if I decided to serve them by staying despite my suffering?
I've decided that the promise is void. I would kill myself if my life were void of meaning and enjoyment and were instead filled with displeasure. And I recognise that this is a terrible thing since my life is not too far away from that description, but at least, I feel, I am working toward fixing it instead of falling into utter despair, which is what people often do.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts @cryptosharon
I feel like I can relate with this a lot..
I think maybe I have anhedonia as well as.. I see less and less reason to be here, the only things that really bring me happiness are helping others, but.. I feel like I can never help enough so that's good! However.. Sometimes I think stuff that you sort of alluded to.. Like.. What if there's really no point? This is a speck in eternity and no one will remember me in thousands of years, and in millions there may not even be any humans left at all.. Does anything I do really matter much?
I don't know.. And since I don't know, I feel like I should continue trying.. Maybe there's something more spiritual going on, maybe the time frames and things we think mean so much while here, don't mean much in the eternal spectrum. Maybe even if humans go extinct and there's no one to remember, it was still a good thing to try to help others, at the very least.. It made me happy.
Sorry to hear things are so "dark" for lack of a better word with you and I hope you do turn it around and find more and more reasons to be here. :) I haven't talk to you a lot but I tend to enjoy it when we do talk, you seem like a very smart person. All the best to you! <3
To the question in your title, my Magic 8-Ball says:
Hi! I'm a bot, and this answer was posted automatically. Check this post out for more information.
Always timely and accurate.
Well, it's not just any enjoyment, I would say it's a deeper level enjoyment on the level of love. The kind that can form when you maintain constant, meaningful connections between people. I am not sure why it should matter whether the enjoyment comes from a person or not, though. Well, I guess now I'm confused. I don't think I'm well-equipped to answer this question after all.
First of all -hugs @cryptosharon-
I think for most of my adult life I've been dwelling on how to to make life meaningful and to feel more fulfilling. I've had ambitions of trying to make a difference that would help humanity. But I had some humbling reminders how frail life can be. I'm still looking fulfillment and satisfying long term goals and not some achievement that could expire. For about two years now I've been wishing to do more events, do something for the community, do something that could touch somebody's life for the better. Maybe their joy and happiness can come back and add to my own.
I hope browsing through Eventbrite looking for things locally could enrich the mind and soul. Reflecting upon those experiences will give life more meaning. I just wish I didn't come home so tattered all the time from work. Life is a journey with many chapters, hopefully there will be a chapter full of meaning, defining moments and those that will cherish for being part of their story. Even if it's for a short time.
Unfortunately I think that society has handled the issue of happiness very badly, and many people think that we should be happy 24 hours a day and that is not the case. Life will always have its ups and downs, moments of difficulty and enjoyment. It is what makes life interesting, pursue dreams, achieve goals, fall and get up. Fixing ourselves mentally that we should be happy all the time is a waste that is not worth it. Life will end someday because it is the law of life, but while we are here the sensible thing is to live the best we can and not be disturbed by thoughts that do not make sense.
The politically correct blind us and doesn't let us see the true
es bueno volverte a ver por aqui, son de los pocos articulos que me pongo a traducir para leerlos
@cryptosharon Thank you for not using bidbots on this post and also using the #nobidbot tag!
Everyone, in one way or another, identify with the thought expressed in this post, because who has not questioned their role in this life? or who has not said to himself: Is it worth living? ... but you know ?, my answer is a resounding YES!
The fact of interacting in this place, shows us that we are not isolated or independent beings, no matter how hard we try to be and show ourselves "self-sufficient"; It is delicious to feel that someone cares; and that although our stubborn selfishness makes us believe that nothing and nobody cares more than we do, just the fact of launching a writing of what our soul shouts, is a sign that deep down in our being, we long to be read, be heard and why not? ... be loved. In my life experience I understood that many times we do not receive what we long for because without realizing it we have become incapable of giving and we are only part of a vicious circle, but when we overcome ourselves and see above our circumstances, we discover that we can be useful and important to others. When we do to others what we want someone to do in us, we find a master key called: PURPOSE OF LIFE. and it will make us have a panoramic view of reality and not just a monotonous and boring focus centered on the "I".
it's worth it .
and eventually the eternal desert becomes an eternal oasis, or at least more oasis than desert <3