I Wish That My Snout Would Recede: My Case Of Having To Suffer Leontiasis Ossea 🦁😢⚕😷

Things Had Caught Me By Surprise

I am always posting my appearance online via my blogs solely here in steem platform and sharing it to my Twitter page, I had gotten accustomed having to reveal my face although it is a bit altered in such a way that it looks much better online than in real person. But no matter how alteration I am doing with the brightness and smoothness of my skin it still looking hideous, sad, and really pitiful.

But even though I am sharing my appearance here in steem platform I could never reveal myself even to my former friends, former classmates, and even former co-dialysis patients. They have known me with other face than this and I must say that even though I am not really bad-looking then despite that I am looking like a Kite already way back then. Now I do not want to reveal my current appearance for the reason that I do not want to be gossiped upon, talked about and pitied with. I also do not want them to get upset and also get threatened with the fear that I might take something from them.

Being A "Lionface" Would Have Been Okay If Not For The Pain Accompanying It

So I just let them be and focus now with my "other" friends which I am most feeling secure, loved, and cared with even only online via steem where at least here I can feel the direct and fast good actions which are intended for me. It is the beauty of the steem blockchain where almost everyone is empowered to lift the lives of anyone or almost anyone that reaches out to the community.

So it is just a peculiar thing for me to reveal myself to one community and hide myself even to my relatives and church brethren. Maybe that is just me but I am really much comfortable here where people are much kinder than anywhere else in the world for me.

I Prefer To Hide Under A Mask, Inside My Room For The Fear Of Ridicule, Insult, And Pity By Others

That is what my appearance now is doing to me, I lost all social life but one community only. I feel much comfortable here in my room, than anywhere else in the world. I am even uncomfortable when somebody direct message me in discord because of my now heightened anxiety of meeting people much less seen by them. That is why even though I have no infectious disease from my lungs I am always under my surgical mask so that at least people will not stare, look, whisper, and point at me when I roll along.

My appearance really is one of the least of my worries as it is intertwined by different kinds of disabilities and complications that also needed some medical attention. That is why I am religiously medicating my bones with expensive drugs, supplements, and vitamins and minerals so that my Leontiasis condition won't exacerbate.

Appearance Matters To Everyone, It May Mean Your Life Too

But at least my face had receded a bit which is the reason that I can eat upright even though with pain and difficulty unlike in the past year where every food that I chew is really hard to keep inside my mouth. It went to a point that I have to pour already the liquids in my mouth in order for me to have some drink. But now I can drink upright again plus can talk again without the other party saying "what-what?" much back at me why I try to converse with them.

I really never had expected that this kind of bone complication would happen to me. Now even my brother would not want to talk to me by looking at me and it makes me feel pain inside me obviously because we were once companions when we attend our church. Also even attending church is affected, I already had foregone to attend again because not only of this appearance but also because of the pain issues considering that in our church we sit for long and doing some other church activities.

Now had I've been informed about the consequences of my situation as a long-term dialysis patient I should have done something to prevent or at least prolong this process of Leontiasis. But it is here now and the most logical thing to do now is to manage it with all what I could do with the help of steem community and the blessing of God just to make me win over the pain which is the major factor of my misery while accepting that my appearance would be near impossible to revert back. I am just concentrating now for vanishing my pain issues once and for all and may the mercy of God shower upon me for that.

Now That Everything Is Here I Just have To Face The Music And Deal With It Together With The Help Of STEEM Community I can Still See Hope If God Wills It

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