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RE: Forgiving does not mean forgetting
Its a wise choice to disassociate from people who cause you harm. I dont agree with the "I forgive but dont forget" because in most case it is no forviging at all...just a ploy to keep the other party in a kind of psychic debt that can never be repaid.
Depends on your definition of forgiving. As @honeyscribe says, the forgiveness is for her - for her peace of mind and soul. When you don't forgive, the person hurting is yourself. But she needs to remember, so she doesn't get sucked in again.
This is exactly it, @kiwideb. I can let go of the pain and anger, but not the memory. With the memory of wrong, I am able to remind myself that I shouldn't step back into that unhealthy space. Especially important for me because I am a people pleaser. That means I have trouble saying no even when I want to and it is safest. I think it is also less about remembering a "bad" thing about another person as it is about remembering that is was bad for me, @cryptoctopus.