Me: I Should Talk About How I Feel. Inner Me: It Will Be Misinterpreted, Just Bottle It Up.
As an analytical person expressing myself tends to be a very difficult task for me. I feel that language is flawed as everyone has different meanings for the same words. You can put a series of words together to convey an emotion but that is with your dictionary, another's may have very different interpretations of those same words.
When in doubt just keep to yourself...
I am currently in a struggle to detach from attachment to limit my suffering. Attachment is the cause of suffering, hoping for one outcome over another is what leads to disappointment and eventual suffering. Going with the flow as they say is the philosophy of just dealing with every situation as it presents itself independently.
Extreme form of apathy...
It was pointed out to me that the philosophy was pure apathy. Motivation to participate in projects of uncertain outcomes was lacking in this philosophy. Why even try if disappointment was the only inevitability, Murphy's law.
Greater the adversity, greater the reward...
The counter would be to go all in with complete vulnerability. Attach to every outcome and drink the suffering like a fine wine. For me this route seems unattainable as it require an open heart. Too great are the fears of rejection and disappointment.
I am just a victim...
This is the current state of the conversation and where I am at. Going to the root of this is where the solution is. By root I mean that first time your parents yelled at you for doing something wrong. That feeling a rejection created a wound that was covered by the social mechanisms I am currently operating under.
Dying to live, living to die...
The brain is designed to keep the organism alive and will alter reality in any way needed to do so. These delusions are what cause the greatest conflicts in the world. Some ideologies are needed for survival, trying to accept a counter point is self suicide. Someone trying to force an idea could be considered murder on some unconscious level.
Going beyond...
Moving beyond this paradigm is the liberation I am seeking. Some form of complete interaction without attachment. Being able to freely speak my mind without the fear of misinterpretation and repercussions. The victim hood is feeling that my life depends on keeping my head down and doing what I am told to survive.
Attach to truth, detach from falsity, and detach from self to honestly evaluate the two. :) It may be that you are thinking of attachment in polarized terms, that it's always bad. It's only a negative when you have unrealistic expectations. Attachment can lead to that, but doesn't have to. You can be attached to a true way of life, trying to create it into the world, but realize its not currently realizable, so then you don't create unrealistic expectations. Attachment is a complex psychological understanding to go through.
Wow, thanks for this. A lot to think about. I would agree that it is complex and a journey to find the balance. Find myself going from one extreme to the other usually brought about by some type of catalyst. The success or failure of a project, relationship, ect. Powering through the initial emotion to get to the truth instead of disconnecting is better approach.