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RE: 11 TIPS TO SPOT A NARCISSIST
:) If you read the post I linked at the start, I'd say I'm extremely familiar with "narcissist" as I have spent the last three and half months fixing my own issues that no one had ever even pointed out to me. I would say I hit literally every behavior used to diagnose NPD and was completely oblivious. The key to changing all of that? Love and not being treating like I was broken. I have basically used steemit as my journal for mental health and working through all of my issues if you want verification. Including finding the points where the broken behaviors were learned.
I sympathise with you @clayboyn . First of all you are having the courage to step forward, and I bow to that. No all are able to do that. It takes certain kind of people to embrace such challenge. Second, you are not broken my friend, at core you are perfect, but that doesn't mean that there are some issues with the way you make reason of the world and act on it. The main point is that you took the challenge to better yourself and that's what counts in my book. Let me know if I can help you in someway. Much respect for you.
Actually I'd like your opinion on this: I think the reason I feel so strongly about this is exactly the subjective nature of the behaviors. I think the problem with diagnosing the behavior based on broken thinking is that it's telling someone they are that behavior. I feel like mental health diagnosis in general doesn't consider the damage done by telling someone their entire mind is broken or sick. It's similar to gaslighting in its own way in my mind. It's like telling someone they are sick and the only way to get better is by learning how to be well again, but your mind doesn't work either so take some pills and hope for the best. I honestly feel that if at some point someone pointed out that these behaviors can be abusive and that we don't understand that we are hurting someone and explain the difference in perspective, it would have been incredibly more helpful. Like explaining that denial is a coping mechanism that I might be using to protect myself, but that I don't understand that to someone else that denial is gaslighting because it is invalidating their perspectives and emotions. Maybe even pointing out that repressing our emotions is a form of self harm because we fear the rejection and abandonment that we already know, but we don't realize that by living this way we are continuing the cycle. I honestly feel like the reason so many psychiatric professionals fundamentally failed at diagnosing and treating this is the very thing they are trying to teach: perspective. How can you ever begin to explain perspective to someone if you don't understand what it's like to not comprehend perspective. I thought perspective was universal up until a few months back. People existed as I saw them in my mind and people that disagreed were just stupid and couldn't face the facts. I think exactly what I just said is why someone with so much perspective has so much trouble diagnosing and treating someone with no perspective.
@clayboyn the question you are asking is personal one which I can't answer as I don't know you personally. Even if I knew you I wouldn't feel uncomfortable to discuss this on an open forum as issues of confidentiality would have to be considered. If I may suggest an avenue of reflection for you is to approach your question in a different way. Try to get in touch with your feelings that are underneath your opinion about the issue. You might discover something new about yourself.
I'll reflect on that.
Try to feel what are they, but avoid reflecting (there is the difference between Thinking and Feeling).
You already are. Every bit of perspective helps, even if I disagree.