I have been working in academia for several years. In doing so, I have worked all over campus. One of the best jobs I ever had was working with student athletes. They are a fun bunch that really learn the art of multi-tasking, setting priorities and soul-searching. For most of them, everything is on the line. If they are on scholarship, they must keep their grades up or go home. Several are betting high on a professional sports career to pull their entire families out of a life of struggle. One thing I can say is that for many of them, controlling their thoughts may have been one of the hardest things to do.

I have seen student athletes with amazing physical ability. I am talking about God-given talent that no coach could ever teach.

One student athlete I remember particularly was a perfect and natural wide-receiver. He had speed, agility and an innate sense of where to be on the field. He had been a high-school stand-out and national All-American. He could catch almost any sort of pass from almost anywhere on the field. Everyone could see the writing on the wall. This kid would end up a first-round draft pick for the NFL.

As seasons progressed, however, this kid wasn't putting up the great numbers.

He wasn't injured, he wasn't losing strength, he was doing well in school and he was getting a lot of playing time. No one could figure it out. Why was he struggling so much? This kid was dropping easy passes, missing the ball, not running his routes - it's like his mind was totally gone; preoccupied with self-doubt. I am not exactly sure what had occurred that suddenly seemed to take such a devastating blow to his self-confidence. Finally, it was time to sit down and have a talk.

After a pretty lengthy conversation, I could see exactly what the issue was.

Now, I am not a certified doctor, but I understand human nature. It was the negative self-talk. That internal tape recorder in our heads that is constantly cycling and telling us ridiculous things. It sounds something like this:

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You can't do this. You aren't as good as the others. You don't even deserve this. You're never going to get better. You have the worst luck. Why can't you get it together? There is no way you overcome this. This is too hard.

If you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, you will start to believe them and they will manifest themselves in your everyday life.

You will start to perform below your level. You will accept less because that is what you are training yourself to believe that is what you deserve. You will start a pattern of malfunctioning and negative behavior and then it will be even more difficult to recover from mistakes. It basically starts a spiraling into a deep, dark hole. Just like this kid, we often don't even realize that we are always thinking negatively about ourselves. We get used to. It comes from our pasts. Some event or series of events that we never worked through or perhaps it comes from our parents, teachers or coaches who told us that we couldn't achieve. Those things get burned into our psyche. They are imprints that we often overlook.

Here's the thing though.

We are NOT our thoughts. Thoughts are just that...thoughts. Fleeting words. They are not who we are or what we are capable of. They do not have to define us. Only we can do that. We have the ability to define ourselves. We have to stop and look at our reality. Who are we really? We are good, decent people with talents and skills. We DO deserve the best. We CAN achieve and we will. We belong here. We are worthy and we are enough. So, in order to stop the negative self-talk, we have to do the work. When we feel those fleeting thoughts coming on; stop, breathe and #ChangeTheTape.