Wedding Chronicles - Serving of the balls

3 days left and then I will be a bonded man. I love me some good bondage once in a while. And marriage really has everything good BDSM has. Except a safeword. It's a longterm BDSM relationship where masters and slaves are redefined on a daily base. And usually I am the slave.

The other day I was trying to watch Iron man when the wife-to-be storms into the living room. I immidiately knew something was about to go down so I hoped she was not looking for me. She sat down next to me and asked what I had done with the dirty laundry. Oh boy. And when she asks something like that you know your balls are on the line. So I took a deep breath and answered her.

Apparantly there are different settings on a laundrymachine. Who knew? What I did was not use the correct setting for the heap of laundry I washed. So now everything was washed at 40 degrees instead of 60 degrees while the setting should have been "Cotton". Safe word! Safe word NOW!

Anyway, I managed to talk myself out of the sticky situation by asking her something completely different. This is called Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and is used by psychologists all over the world. It's basically resetting someones brain which can be very useful in times of distress. And I am a master of NLP nowadays. So when she asked me why I didn't use the correct setting I replied with; "But do you think we should get a dog?"

You see, now I got her thinking. First of all she had to rethink what I just said. Then she needed to recall any and all the conversations we ever had about dogs, continued by analyzing the conversations to remember what had been said. Lastly she needed to check her feelings to see how she actually feels about getting a dog.

Jedi Mind Trick

It's imperative that you repeat the question a few times to ensure maximum profit. It also gives you time to flee the room might NLP not do the trick. So there I was, hoping for her to forget all about the laundry. But I also knew this would come back to me at an unexpected moment. And I can only Jedi Mind Trick her so many times before the effect wears off.

And since men still have not invented the Neuralyzer (That Flashy Thing from M.I.B) I have to endure. I will also have to compromise all the time because her strongest and most valid point to get me doing things in and around the house is the most powerful sentence a woman can say to her man. It really can turn everything in her advantage.

Me love you long time

"You clean your shit or you can forget about sexy time". This is one killer sentence too:"You better start ....(fill in what's being discussed).... or you won't get any of this" while pointing at her body. You know she got you there. And again, no safe word. You're balls just got served. They just got handed to you in a way only a woman who loves you can truely hand them to you. She's got the pussy so she makes the rules.

Now I hear you thinking; "Pff let her talk, I've got my list". But the list won't help you in this situation. It's not a "Plan B". Because you need to do what you've been told at that moment. No more, no less. And don't think about going against her. Because she will use the "F" word to make it extra clear ain't getting none. And regarding the list; She knows. They all do. They also know who's on it so the chance might be that one of the names on your list will be added to the conversation: "If you think you can get away with you should try this with Stella from HR, let's see if she still think you're a man after that".

Once you hear that you know you messed up. Ass up high in the air, ready to receive the spanking. No Safe word. Marriage truely is the purest form of BDSM

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