Wedding Chronicles - Freedom is for Losers

8 days left till the wedding. I will be responsible for sharing my last name with someone else other than born family. What a great honor. The freedom I'll have to give up for that is a small price. Who needs freedom anyway, right? No really, freedom is so over exaggerated. What use does freedom really have in a marriage? I mean, it's not as if I freely can game anymore as the tv is a common household item. So I may use it to watch shows to my liking. As long as it is something similar to NCIS, CSI, Law & Order, Criminal Minds etc so we can watch them "together".

Of course she sleeps ten minutes after the show has started. But still I have no freedom to switch the channel. My role as a pillow not only involves being a pillow. I also have to watch the entire show so I can tell her who the killer was and how the unit actually was able to capture the killer. A talking pillow really. For that I even give up my freedom to move.

My legs and arms hurt because her sleeping position involves rolling her arms around mine and clutching my legs like the Hitman's sharpshooter. I also starve to death due to the fact that the bowl with chips and the drinks were finished before the show got to the first commercial break. The upside is that it keeps my weight in balance. I don't have to put on a diet just for the wedding and it takes us longer to finish the sweetscabinet.

After she wakes up for the first time, most times right after the show finally revealed the killer, she is like powered up. Her batteries are fully charged and she decides to get up and writes down a list of choires I have to do the next day. It's like she was dreaming about it. Epiphany! Within a few minutes she gets back on the couch. Just after she missed the first 5 minutes of the next show, which I have to explain to her again in the next commercial break.

It doesn't take long before she falls asleep again. Just after the commercial break. By this thime I'm getting either too consumed by the show or too lazy to get the remote which is at my foot end. I watch the show myself while she sleeps. Same story different characters. For a false sense of continuity they add a subplot to the show which I will never be able to follow any way as I don't watch these shows in chronological order.

As for watching the shows I like (shows like GoT, TWD, Gotham, Agents of Shield etc) she decides for the both of us that we are not watching those. Apparantly We don't like those shows. "We" actually means that there is no I, and the "I" in this case is me. But I do love my wife-to-be very much as she teaches me that selfishness in a relationship is not a good thing. It doesn't suit her needs and only fills her with rage. And the less she rages the better it will be for us. My wife really can teach me some wise life lessons.

So I firmly believe that I don't need freedom. I have my wife and freedom and family simply don't go hand in hand. That's why she gets a ring to rule them all and I get a little less powered ring meant for the mortal men. Same ring, different powers really. I know where Tolkien got his inspiration. And let me tell you, her power goes a long way.

The way I see it, even the act of cheating itself is not a real problem to women. The fact that you thought you had the FREEDOM to do so is what really triggers most women. Even William Wallace's wife got him killed long after she was dead because he thought he could achieve a certain amount of freedom.

It's all about love anyway. And if I'm giving up my freedom to get love than so be it. Who needs freedom anyway, right?

Check out my previous post "Wedding Chronicles -Preparing for the Apocalypse"