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RE: Drop in the Ocean: Transparency
That wasn't transparent at all, but you come out on top because you know that it was shady and deceitful (although it did cost you $450). People out for money only end up with one thing, money. We all know you don't take money to the grave.
I'm looking forward to the presentation later on about this post :)
I concur, and will add that he is a total asshole for doing that. When delivering a service you must always state intentions of charging or shut up and just do it and not expect anything in return , also given the bill came in the mail I think he is being shady or needed money , why not just email you or text and say hey I am going to charge you for this etc.
I agree that mailing you the bill is shady. Add to that that it came three weeks later — super shady! You also mentioned in a reply that this keeps happening to you. On one hand, you can use this experience to be more careful in the future, but I encourage you you to consider how speaking directly to him about this might help you to come to terms with yourself on a deeper level. When our tendency is to avoid conflict, I think it is because we assume conflict is bad, or damaging to relationships. If that’s the case, then that perception of conflict likely comes from lived experience of conflict with people who don’t understand the true nature of conflict. When managed appropriately (with maturity and insight) conflict is actually a fundamental way to learn more about each other, and when it is resolved it almost always makes a relationship stronger. (Hey, look what we accomplished together!) This kind of approach to conflict almost always requires compromise and win-win attitude. Now, if you do confront someone with this attitude, and they throw up a wall, well, then they are telling you they don’t have the ability to be that kind of friend. I know it’s scary, but from this perspective, it really doesn’t make sense to keep avoiding. Just try talking to the guy and give him a chance to surprise you.
Excellent! LOVE this. Thank you, @cstrimel.