Drop in the Ocean: Transparency
Being Transparent With Your Intentions
A few weeks ago I was having some power problems. One minute I'd be going along great and the next the lights would go out!!! The power sockets were fine so I got my lamp out so I could see. It was intermittent so I never knew when I would next be plunged into darkness!!!
![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWW6KoHQgwDe25iLm71zdoGA9Qz3oqwZJQozDtbaTaSiy/image.png)
Anyhooo...... a little back story before I go on.
In January I went to a wedding. I didn't know too many people there but I knew a couple of people that I used to work with and my very friendly electrician. As it turned out I chatted on with him for probably 3 of the 6 hours that I was at the wedding and reception. We get on well and laughed like idiots for most of our conversation. (He is married and his wife was part of these conversations) We also share a couple of health issues and he offered to lend me his BP monitor which was jolly nice of him. 👍
At some stage of the afternoon he was telling me about having his explosives license and wanting to go practice blowing things up - as it happens I have some tree stumps in a paddock which I'd like to cultivate so I jokingly said to him "why don't you come blow up my stumps and you can drop the BP monitor off at the same time hehehe". I didn't really expect anything to come of it because I was really only kidding.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmZ6bdXGJBSnLxwf5scxN7LWZ8FrU6zVCtTt2ipt1mB4W6/image.png)
Well.... blow me down with a feather - he rings me up a couple of weeks later and says "I'm coming past your house next week I'll stop in with the monitor" "awesome" I reply. He says "I'll have a look at those stumps while I'm there to see if they are too close to your house"
"oh wow ...... ok" I say shocked that he'd even remembered.
So.... he turns up, we have coffee, chat on for a good hour before he says I'll go look at your stumps and see how far from the road and house they are. Sweet.... we go check them out and I point out a tree, close by, that I want cut down for firewood. He says "I can cut that down for you, no worries" "chur bro" I think to myself that's fantastic. (that means good on you mate)
Moving on back to the power issue....... I ring the local power company and they send out the chap to look at my transformer. "Nope" he says" that's not the issue, it must be a fuse up on the pole in your yard but unfortunately I can't check that because your pole is rotten at the bottom". So they had to get a bucket truck out to lift him up to check the fuse.... nothing wrong with the fuse either. They checked the connections on to the house.... nope still no issues. They check inside the house and the lights come on.... whooppee!!! So they leave.
Next morning no lights again!. Grrrrr.....
I put up with no lights for a couple of days, making use of the lamps I have though struggling to see the computer so playing on Steemit was challenging!
The next day my electrician was due to come so I ask him to check to see if he can see any problem. It's outside he concludes so back to the drawing board with the power company!
So..... getting back to point of all this rambling... He cuts down a tree and he blows up a stump and he replaces 3 light bulbs.
Three weeks later I get a bill in the mail for $450.
Wait .....what!!
![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmT8fsT3WNQ2aNncDiCqfC3yYNs64KVUeP99dfaNP5nJxj/image.png)
I feel he should have been more transparent with what his intentions were!
I expected to pay for the electrical stuff but I sure didn't ask him to cut down a tree.
(I could have got a neighbour to do that for free)
He was looking for practice things to blow up.
He knows I don't have a job and I'm studying right now.
Was I naive thinking he was offering as a friend?
I think he should have said to me - I can do this - It will cost you this. Then I could have decided if I wanted to pay what he was asking. I feel what he did was misleading and not at all clear or transparent.
What are your thoughts?
This was written as part of the Buddyup community.
Images Thanks to Clipart Library.
Jeepers that's a bit harsh - maybe you could send him a bill for wedding companionship at 3 hours?
Lol maybe - I even made him lunch!!!
Oh nooooo - this is awful!!! He completely took advantage of you. I know you - and you're probably avoiding talking to him like the plague!!! LOL but...if you are going to pay it - maybe you could say to him. "Oh! We never talked about a price so I was shocked at how expensive it was. Had I known you were going to chop down the tree, I would have stopped you since "neighbor" offered to do it for free! Is there some way that we can meet in the middle on this bill? I wasn't expecting this at all"
At least you probably won't pay it all? I don't think you should pay ANY of it.... but.... i know you ;)
I will just pay it's easier that way and I don't want to upset anyone :)
Except yourself lol
LOVE this, @DreemSteem! Wonderful way to approach the convo with him.
yes but already paid :( i'm sad he took advantage of our andygirl :(
Talk to him calmly, and explain your reasons and your views on what happened. Be positive in your conversation, and you will achieve your mission! Blessings
Ahh I won't even mention it I will just pay the bill and be more cautious next time :)
Excellente that is the idea! :)
Have a week full of peace and blesings.
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There was no talk of money as you would have asked for a quote.
No talk of money at all - so it did confuse me a bit :(
I think you need to talk to him.
nice
I can't believe this is a true story. I was wondering how you could write fiction so well and expecting a punchline at the end. I got a punchline and you got a punchline.
I would be transparent and tell him the truth. You never made an agreement to pay him. If he doesn't accept that then he is rotten but be careful he doesn't blow up your house.
Lol I wish it wasn't a true story and I sure did get a punchline. You're probably right I should talk to him but I've never been one for conflict and I guess that is why these things keep happening to me.
I agree with @mineopoly both in terms of it sounding like a story and having a chat with him.
Just be straight and loving. Don't look at it as creating a problem or assume it will be a big conflict. Just speak from your heart and see him reducing it to just cover the electrical work.
Nice and peaceful but clear and transparent as you would have liked him to have been. Sometimes peeps don't think, much less feel things through and this seems to be one he didn't feel through very well. So help him, Andy. If he does this kind of thing to other peeps, he may end up losing customers without having a clue why.
Plus, you'll feel better about being open and honest instead of letting it just slide. A little electrical power issue to give you a workout in exercising power in your usual loving and wise way. ;)
No, not transparent enough. I feel that he took advantage of you. Not nice. He should have said something up front about wanting money. I would cross him off my list of trustworthy people. But that's just me.
Unfortunately as I live in small town it is very hard to get people to come this far out to do any kind of work. I will certainly be more careful from now on.
Quotes up front!
Wow! That's not how I expected the story to end at all. I'm very sorry that happened, and I do agree that he should have been more transparent. I have no idea how I would handle this situation, but I imagine I would feel like you, pay the bill, and be very wary of him next time. I suppose you would have legal grounds to oppose paying, but that would probably end up costing more than the original bill and you'd probably lose a friend; although at this point, I'm not sure he's much of a friend anyway. I hope he is more upfront with his customers.
It was kind of hard to start the story any other way so that people could understand what I was talking about lol - Thanks for coming to visit :)
That wasn't transparent at all, but you come out on top because you know that it was shady and deceitful (although it did cost you $450). People out for money only end up with one thing, money. We all know you don't take money to the grave.
I'm looking forward to the presentation later on about this post :)
I concur, and will add that he is a total asshole for doing that. When delivering a service you must always state intentions of charging or shut up and just do it and not expect anything in return , also given the bill came in the mail I think he is being shady or needed money , why not just email you or text and say hey I am going to charge you for this etc.
I agree that mailing you the bill is shady. Add to that that it came three weeks later — super shady! You also mentioned in a reply that this keeps happening to you. On one hand, you can use this experience to be more careful in the future, but I encourage you you to consider how speaking directly to him about this might help you to come to terms with yourself on a deeper level. When our tendency is to avoid conflict, I think it is because we assume conflict is bad, or damaging to relationships. If that’s the case, then that perception of conflict likely comes from lived experience of conflict with people who don’t understand the true nature of conflict. When managed appropriately (with maturity and insight) conflict is actually a fundamental way to learn more about each other, and when it is resolved it almost always makes a relationship stronger. (Hey, look what we accomplished together!) This kind of approach to conflict almost always requires compromise and win-win attitude. Now, if you do confront someone with this attitude, and they throw up a wall, well, then they are telling you they don’t have the ability to be that kind of friend. I know it’s scary, but from this perspective, it really doesn’t make sense to keep avoiding. Just try talking to the guy and give him a chance to surprise you.
Excellent! LOVE this. Thank you, @cstrimel.
Wow. All I can say is "Wow!"
Ah, the importance of clear communication... :O
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