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RE: Finding Your Unique Voice
Greater Completion Yoga is a good path. Not easy, not fast, but all encompassing.
And as comparison, it took me 40 years and literally burying my mother before I realized just how evil and manipulative she was. How much I destroyed my life, turned off my emotions and was numb to the world because of her teachings and manipulations.
I would not be on the path I am now without those experiences. The knowing is incredible. But I do not feel I will take this path next life.
For the longest time I thought this was the way everyone lived. It just hit me the other day if someone is in a bad mood I do not have to listen to their crap and anger dumped on me...it's a long process to unlearn early childhood memories, especially before the ability to communicate through language. A lot of my memories are pre language emotions. I never hated my Mother, I just didn't like her very much, same with the rest of my family. I always felt very uncomfortable around them. I found after I left home that I did not feel that way around other people but I still like being alone.
Part of my practice was to forgive those that hurt me, because in many ways I was just like them until I figured out my anger came from ignorance. This was my way of forgiving and letting go.
I have empathy for your struggle, my Mom died just recently, I no longer participate in family rituals and have no communication with them. I told her I forgave her a long time ago but I will never see her again.
I hope my next life my family can find enlightenment, peace, and happiness. So if I have to hang out with them it will be a nice experience this time around.