RE: The Struggle is Real; Veterans and PTSD
I do not know much about PTSD, but I do know a lot about what is being called Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Trauma caused by lots of early childhood trauma.
The way out is to become mindful.
How to explain this?
Meditation is a practice of quieting the mind. This provides two effects. First you learn to control your brain instead of being controlled by it. The second is that you learn which voices in your head are coming from inside, and which from the outside.
So, basically mindfulness is becoming aware of your thoughts and how and why you are thinking that way. When you get to that state, you can start rewriting how your brain functions.
Mary-jane and acid are mind expanding drugs. If you use them in that capacity they can allow you to break out of your little mind into a bigger presence. For some it works, for other's it doesn't. But it is not the drug, it is the mindfulness that results.
Ayahuasca... This drug will kill you. But, sometimes you live to tell the tale. This is not a little trip. This is a big trip, where you will confront your demons, and you will either succeed or fail. It works best after you have already started/tried to meditate and have worked on mindfulness.
This book may help you.
https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483041562&sr=1-1&keywords=cptsd+from+surviving+to+thriving
I agree. The VA is an awful place, where they don't actually want to fix anything hard, they just want the easy jobs so they can check off their list of doing enough operations/proscribed enough pills, to get paid.
They should have never let this go this long. They should have had you in PTSD sessions with other veterans with the first three months. Time is important in treatment of PTSD.
hope this helps.
Thank you for your in depth response @builderofcastles. Meditation is an avenue I have also been exploring. The Cognitive Processing Therapy I mentioned in my post was supposed to help me more mindful of my thought process and the unrealistic results I expect from certain situations(i.e boxes on the side of the road, confined spaces, loud noises, etc). At times it seems I will be making headway and then something triggers a massive episode(Boston Bombings, Chattanooga recruiting center shooting, etc). My largest hurdle seems to be we are still at war with terrorism...I may have left the Middle East battlefield...but I can't be complacent to the fact that terrorism still exists in America and this seems to be one of my largest hiccups. I can't seem to get my mind out of that battle space arena. I am going to really try to get this under control. I am also hoping that by posting this blog it will allow me to express some of my personal thoughts and struggles. Hopefully, not keeping these in will also be another avenue of recovery. Thank you once again for such a long post with helpful information.