But What Does Friend Mean?
How many times you've heard someone saying they failed at something, and you probably will too? I surely have not only heard but listened to them.
As I said in this post, before coming to Holland everyone would say how was hard to make Dutch friends and that I would probably never have one living here.
Thanks to this I made many new brazilian friends, but what life brought was more than I expected.
It's true I met many Dutch people along these (almost) four years living abroad, but just a few remain in contact. But how many brazilian ones I've met too and never talked to ever again? Exactly!
In my previous relationships I have never been so close to my boyfriend's friends than I am now with Mark's friends. We can talk about any shit and they are super awesome. And guess what? THEY ARE DUTCH!
Not to mention these guys are married with lovely ladies, which I like so much and have lots of fun with.
You don't need to braid each others hair to call them friends, do you? And why to define relationships like that when you can just say, I hang with those people and we always have a great time together. BAM!
Friendship is something subjective and we should stop expecting everyone to act in certain ways to define them. Right?
Do you want an example? I have this brazilian friend, we never talk about our personal problems, we are pretty much there for each other, but get to talk about basics, whenever I at her parents house and she has an appointment, I just say "yo have fun" and chill at her parents, or nap with her dogs. And you know how we call it? Real friendship! I'm gonna be her bridesmaid in September.
I see people get offended often because someone forgot their bday or haven't called in a while. But c'mon, is it suposed to be a burden to everyone? Let's cherish each other, instead of giving them tasks.
This is one of the coolest lessons I've learnt in the past years. It makes me see my happiness doesn't deppend on people's actions, but mine. Before thinking how a friend sees me, I need to think how I see a friend.
Thanks for reading,
B.
Thank you so much we need like this post ❤
Thanks for the post....loved reading it for me friendship is a relationship which is based on mutual understanding and respect.
Friendship is a relationship built on mutual sympathy. Friendship can be fleeting and go along with this sympathy. Sometimes friendship lasts for years and this time stronger. True friendship is based on trust, mutual assistance. People who are friends, are psychologically comfortable with each other. Often friends are emotionally closer to each other than cousins.
Excellent post! Come with me! It will be interesting!
<3 Mwoow, so sweet post.
I can't wait to see you in your bridesmaid clothes :-) It will be in Brazil?
And I agree totally that we can't expect our friends to be someone else we want them to be (like in any relationship in fact ;-))
This is so true. For me I think a real friend means no judgement, like you dont have to do an extra clean of your house before they come over! Hanging out with their parents while they go out is another sign!
Uau! Amei sua última frase. Passei a vida trocando de cidades e isso impactou muito o modo como vejo amizades. Tenho amigos que não vejo há anos e apenas de vez em quando conversamos. Mas a sensação continua sendo de amizade e afeto profundos. Acho que nosso maior problema é querer definir relacionamentos e encaixar naquilo que imaginamos que deve ser um padrão. Mas bonitas mesmo são as diferentes conexões que podemos criar uns com os outros!
What a nice little reminder to help keep things in perspective. I used to feel so obligated to check in with certain friends regularly. As life got busier I had to give myself a break, it didn’t mean I cared any less though.