Note from Sanity! ***** TRRIGER WARNING *****
Pain is a beautiful thing but Love is so evil. Pain makes you stronger and makes tough enough to simmer down the reality. People don't believe that we are living the world of the psychopaths. Everybody will just oppose you if you will speak the truth, Which is one of the Flags of being a psychopath.
The truth is we are here alone it does not matter whom you are related to, What's your race, Where you from. You came alone in this world and You will die alone.
Money is one hell of disease and we all are infected. I can not be loved by own family cause I don't money, I can not find any partner cause I don't make enough money, People stare me with disgust, Those eyes filled with discrimination pierce my heart every day and make me question myself. What is my fault? What can I do more than trying again and again? My own family has called me names just for not making enough as other siblings, My siblings have called loser for being different. I have been dumped by my love just for not buying her new stuff.
My friends have called me many names for being a burden on my family. I just wanted love and acceptance all theses from the people around. I am different, I am not what they expect me to be. I started this quest for love when I was eleven and until this day I am crying since somewhere deep in my heart. Nobody feels what I feel. IF I open up my mouth for telling my weaknesses and the battles I have been fighting inside my mind, They call me delusional, Lazy, Liar what not.
I am trying since I was eleven but today as I am lying in my bed being haunted by my deadly suicidal thoughts, I think I am becoming one of them. It's a note from humanity, Save me!
I can hear the loneliness and struggle in your message, it is heart breaking. Sounds like you are feeling pretty rejected by the world. We all experience this rejection at times together, maybe you can feel a little less alone knowing this.
What I can see in your words is that you have been working really hard every day. I can hear a good heart that will carry you through this time of challenge. It might be time for new stories to fill your head. When your family, parents and siblings tell you that you are a burden and you need more money-- try not to have those words be your food. You know what I mean? Don't swallow their message. Don't let people who hurt you plant seeds in your head that grow into a jungle of self hate. It's not you, you are beautiful and deserve happiness and peace inside.
Start listening to words and thoughts that bring you strength and hope. Give yourself a time out to reset. Instead of crying alone, laugh alone, or smile at how beautiful a feather can be. The simple little things. I know it might sound silly, but look in the mirror some time and tell yourself, "I love you! I know you are trying, and things are getting better every day." Little daily practices make a huge difference. Bring little things into your life, here and there that make it better, those are the seeds for your new garden. You can do this! You can be free from running in circles trying to please the people around you. If you are looking for love, you have to practice on yourself, practice forgiving yourself, there are wonderful things that are waiting for you. If you want to receive them, you got to pull the weeds and plant the seeds! I hope things get better soon.
Thanks for your concern :)
It's for real, I hope that you update us some time of how things are going. Ok?
Sure.