Well, Are You? Part One of a Series; Sexist
Are you Sexist?
Do you wonder this? If this thought has occurred to you, then you probably are. Oh, I’m sorry... did I offend your fragile male ego? Are you mad? Are you defensive? Do you want to call me a bitch and to fuck off and give me about a thousand reasons why I’m being unfair? Unfair to YOU?
I hope I got your attention. I hope you’re at least a little angry with me right now, or that you’ve stopped reading, because I only want to speak to an audience who cares about this question. It’s a big, important question and I think it’s worth your attention.
What is a Sexist?
A sexist is a person who thinks and treats the opposite sex as somehow ‘less’ than their own, normally a man who thinks women are inferior to them simply because they are a woman. Understand, I’m not saying that you, Carl, can’t tell your best buddy Rick that your co-worker Carol is an idiot. Carol may very well BE an idiot. Recognizing Carol’s idiocy is not the issue here. It’s when Rick responds, “That bitch never even wears a DRESS.”
You see how Rick just made things sexist? Why does someone, anyone, think this is a reasonable response? Surely you’ve heard of the pantsuit. And why, exactly, do you think Rick went from ‘Carol is an idiot’ to having an issue with her clothes?
I bet that I know what some of you are about to say or are thinking already. What if Carl simply likes dresses? What if Carl is the Human Resource Guy and Carol is in violation of the Clothes At Work policy? Furthermore, what if Carol, in her idiocy, wears clothes that are really unfashionable and tacky??
No. Nope. Stop it, you’re justifying things and getting caught up in the minutiae of my MADE UP STORY. You are purposefully NOT trying to understand my point, so take a deep breath, big boy, calm the fuck down and LISTEN. (read)
Defining Sexism
Dictionary.com defines sexism as such, “ingrained and institutionalized prejudice against or hatred of women; misogyny.” Further, our friends at Wikipedia state, “Sexism or gender discrimination is prejudice or discrimination based on a person's sex or gender.
Sexism can affect either gender, but it is particularly documented as affecting women and girls. It has been linked to stereotypes and gender roles and may include the belief that one sex or gender is intrinsically superior to another. Extreme sexism may foster sexual harassment, rape, and other forms of sexual violence.”
What are you doing wrong?
If you’re even asking yourself that question, you’re doing something right. Here’s the thing… try to behave as though that woman you are speaking with is a person. That’s right, it’s nearly that simple and an appropriate place to start.
Table Image
What I want you to understand, too, is that I was raised on this sexism. Educated by everyone from my own mother to marketing campaigns to my schools on what my role is in society; to entertain and delight you with my nice smile, my flattering words, my great tits. And I do, ohhhh, you know I do. I call it my ‘table image’ a poker term referring to the way you present yourself on the poker table. I’m the flirty, silly drunk girl. It’s not a lie, and it often hides the fact that I’m also wicked sharp.
Understanding my personal table image is not the same thing as accepting sexism, however. I have had to call out a number of assholes for being overly sexist. And I struggle with how far to let someone go with me, flirting wise. I’m not blaming anyone for treating me inappropriately. If you have treated me badly, I have told you, don’t worry.
What you should worry about is how you treat the average woman you encounter. Are you dismissive? Condescending? Do you feel the need to explain to her the sentence that she just said to you? That shit you have got to stop. If a woman is flirting with you and you say something appropriately flirty back, you’re probably good. Just don’t be the asshole that starts it in a situation that doesn’t call for it.
And yes, you really should be able to tell the difference.
That’s the end of my lesson for today. I hope you will ask me questions in the comments so we can further this discussion.
A new SMT has been created in your name: SexistCoin care of SteemIt Inc. (STINC)
Haha! This post was written by a girl!
I didn’t read it. My fragile male ego wouldn’t allow it. I got my own table image to keep up, you know.
psh.
YOU don't play poker. you DABBLE.
;)
thanks for not-reading, @ats-david!
#metoo
OH. MAH. I'M.
NO.
dammit.
hahahahahaa
I believe that we are all created equal and that gender were established by the creator not to discriminate each other but to establish differences between man and woman. These differences should be treated accordingly and not to be seen as inferiority to both sexes.
I hear you, @juvyjabian. I think the idea of 'equality' is interesting... we aren't the same, not as individuals and not as male / female, however we are each deserving of respect from one another.
Thanks for reading and commenting! :)
What a great read. The most powerful message I found here is to focus on seeing fellow humans not as a woman or a man, but as a person. That really helps to establishing the right perspective and outlook. We are all indoctrinated by society to some extent, therefore it is sometimes difficult to break the predefined gender roles and assume the perspective of the opposing gender. Your suggestion is a powerful tool to do that. Writing from your perspective helps bringing out the message, educate and challenge outdated mindset.
wow, @cryptonik, thank you so much for your comment! That's the ideal i firmly stand on... that we are all people who deserve each others respect. it is difficult, but it's NECESSARY. i really appreciate your thoughts. :)
Thanks Teacher. Will have to think through how I treat women a little more. It is probably why women dont like me.
You're pretty good, @nicnas. It's one of the reasons why I keep you around, actually. ;)
The fact that I even may have wondered about that is in my view a strength, pretty much the opposite of a fragile ego. Fragile egos will barely ever venture in the realm of [unsolicited] self-inspection, analysis and subsequent improvement.
Like this?
thanks for reading, @fknmayhem ;)
I know you do. :D
But over time, I myself, have become a more calculated warrior in this fight. Having recently seen the so-called manosphere (that's a whole internet culture niche btw) revel and thrive in this current climate of authoritarian populists, I have noticed that those intro-paragraphs merely amplify the manosphere's thinking and PoV.
If, after that first paragraph, they decide to not read any further... that's an opportunity lost IMHO.
Btw it's difficult, very difficult an admission [thread]:
Aw, you're an ally!
Are you giving me a note about how to engage the manosphere?
Ally, most definitely. Understatement of the day without a doubt.
No, there's no right or wrong way. We all find the way which we we think suits and fits us best. As long as we stay vocal about it and the fight continues. IT is one which needs to be fought, until we truly have achieved equality.
Ye, we will fail to help the ignorant ones, but luckily there's that one certitude in life we all have: all our lives are limited and end at some point. Cemetaries all over the world are littered with humans who thought they were irreplaceable. :D
I enjoy SEX over sexism, it is more fun and better cardio.
...says the first male member of the YWCA of our hometown... yeah, shut up you feminist. ;)
Sexism is a serious issue with serious negative consequences for those effected and those not. I suspect your post will be well received by some women who share your expressed views (feelings?).
However, since I am not a women and don't have the bias caused by mistreatment, for me the post missed the mark.
From the title I thought I would find some pointers on how to show respect to women. Nope. After the first few sentences I thought this was going to be a good male bashing article (entertaining). Nope. What I got out of your post is you've been hurt your whole life (seriously Mother?), you're bitter and you have a bit of a potty mouth (which I liked). Sure there were some decent male bashing lines in the article (nice) but nothing came through more clear than the bitterness.
I'll end my comment with a snarky remark.
I'm not going to objectify you by saying you have a beautiful smile (you do). Instead I will say I noticed you have all your front teeth and they appear to be aligned.
hahahaa, thank you for the compliment and the truly thoughtful comment!
I am really working on my writing and had a bit of a difficult time with this one, so you're not wrong about it being a bit all over the place. I'm glad you enjoyed the parts you enjoyed and I will take your notes to heart!
thanks again!
b.
Inenjoyed reading this piece...i believe everyone was created equally and no one should think less of someone else...
thanks, @adabless! I think if we are all a little more thoughtful, we can do much better by each other!
Thanks for reading!
My sexiest ego still likes female boobs but not male boobs :(
Anyway: In the struggle of make ever more sales, the current venture of making everything boys/girls is chokingly annoying.
I mean, there are things to eat that come in boy's and girl's package. Yes, the same stuff, just with different pictures. Something to eat. Makes me want to vomit for several reasons.
i agree! why do they feel the need to do that? I mean, i get that it probably makes more money somehow, but it's so WRONG. Just stop.
Thanks for reading!