Armchair Musings #2 - Who Says What You Can Or Can't Love Someone For?! (Part 1 of 2)

We all love Love.

Agape. Erotic. Affectionate. Familiar. Playful. Etc. There are many kinds of love. For the most part, the general populace have no issue with any of them. Described as a profound and caring affection towards someone, it’s something we all yearn to have and give. Some people are afraid of the word, while some carelessly throw it around, playing games with the minds of those who fear the word, and take it rather seriously. The gist of the matter is however, the same. We. Love. Love.

However, the smooth, Cupid-fueled gravy train grinds to a halt when you throw in the word “for”.

Love for. Everybody wants to be loved unconditionally. Or, at the very least, for their innate qualities. Something within them, that they often had no control over having that quality. Go out and say you love someone for their sense of humour and kindness, and the “Awwwnns” that will engulf you from all your female friends will amaze, scare, and scar you, all at once. Kinda like the ones this beautiful pug will receive.

However, say you love someone for their money, or worse, their body (emphasis not mine, but that of countless gossiping people with no jobs), and the disdain in the eyes of the people will make you sink into the ground, and stay there of your own volition.

But on some level, the jobless gossipers (let’s call them Anamachooru, which loosely translated means people looking for a job) have a point. While humour and kindness are (or at least appear to be) noble reasons to love a person, money and their body seem to be materialistic and vain. That appears to be the argument.

That things like money and a good looking body are fleeting, and morally bankrupt things to base a relationship of any kind on, let alone one of love. As a result, people who love others for their money or their body are morally reprehensible demon people who deserve the electric-chair (maybe a little exaggerated, but you catch my drift).

Ok…why though?

GOOD VS "EVIL"  

Let’s break it down. We’ll put a “good” versus “bad” reason for love. Perhaps a sense of humour vs their body. 

Relationship A

Most of us are born with some degree of a sense of humour. It may be high, in that everything that falls out of the person’s mouth is pure comedy gold, or it may be low, in the sense that whatever they say is at best offensive to all mortals, or at worst akin to a war crime committed by Hitler on a throne of dolphin skulls. A sense of humour can also be learned, albeit difficulty (or so I’ve heard, I’ve personally never had to embark on such a venture). So we have Girl A, who loves Guy A for his largely predisposed and slightly learned sense of humour. 

Relationship B

Now we have Girl B. We all know that body size, shape and other factors are mostly genetic. Which is why some people’s hips require them to move through narrow doorways sideways, and others could easily double as the edge of a knife. It’s also the reason I’ve personally been struggling with my kinda-genetic-kinda-potbelly (DON’T ask me for any full body pics, please and thank you). Weight is another issue that though vaguely genetic, can be changed with some hard work and commitment. So, now we have Guy B, who loves Girl B because of her body.

So what’s the problem? What’s the difference between Girl A and Guy B? Let’s look at similarities: A) They both love someone, B) For qualities they find appealing for whatever reason. And the difference is…what? That society doesn’t believe it’s right to love for physical qualities? Well society once thought that if a woman reads too much it’d destroy her reproductive system, so clearly we as a society have shared certain moments of complete and utter stupidity. 

Is this one of those situations? No, we’re all entitled to our own opinion, it’s a free country (mostly). However, there is a problem when we try to force those views on others, such as by openly judging people who like a certain quality that is generally deemed to be wrong, 

“No!” scream the “love what’s on the inside” pundits, taking this far more seriously than I am. “Things like money and beauty are fleeting! We should love each other for the person on the inside, not the material surface!” I completely agree with this. Except, you know, for the parts where I don’t.

Which is, you know, DAMN NEAR EVERYWHERE

I agree, money can finish. I also agree that boobs can sag, and 6 pacs can turn to 6 folds, LIGHTNING FAST. But nice people can turn into, pardon my French, assholes. Funny people can become dull, drab, shadows of themselves. God-fearing people can turn to heathens. The so called “inside” can go bad just as fast and as hard as the outside. So if you know that whether you follow what you want or what society believes to be right, they all have the prospect of going bad, what’s the point of not doing your own thing? Do you want to date some guy because his bank account has more zeros than a computer program? Godspeed! Do you want to date some girl because she can catch and hold a basketball with her boobs? Up, up and away! Is this person ideal for you because they fear God and are epic cooks? S’all good, go forth!

So now let’s go back to our example. Girl A loves her man mainly for his awesome sense of humour, and Guy B loves Girl B for her figure 8. They each profess love for the other person, and the other asks “Why do you love me?” 

This is where society’s views on this matter begin to warp things. 

To Be Continued...

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So guys, hope you enjoyed it, part 2 will be out in a day or two, although there might be an Armchair Musing or two in between. In the meantime, I'd like to hear your thoughts, so feel free to comment and resteem.

Later!

All images are courtesy of Pixabay.