RE: We are hot but still single. Why girls from generation Y have problems tying the knot.
With each generation comes new challenges. I have never understood why people want to turn the negativity on to Gen Y. Baby Boomers were getting married at a young age and popping out children, just like humans, relationships evolve. It's a new era, tattoos are the norm, piercings are decoration, and single women are not to be looked down on, but (and this is coming from a woman who is married herself) to be looked up to.
Being single is empowering, you should never feel bad for wanting to spend time worshiping yourself. Yes, I said it, WORSHIPING. You deserve it. You feel pretty today? Document it! People will always dislike things they do not understand and are not open to understanding. It scares them, especially with a lot of the older women in the world. I get it, they are from a different generation.
Independent women are nothing new, but the abundance of them now are. We make our voices heard in times when prior to evolving generations, men told us to shush. We stand and say no, we put our foot down, and we do not settle.
For every 20 something out there who is being told anything negative about how they are living their life, if you are happy, you do you.
"Being single is empowering, you should never feel bad for wanting to spend time worshiping yourself. Yes, I said it, WORSHIPING. You deserve it. You feel pretty today? Document it!"
This is exactly the issues the article brought up. While i totally support and am attracted to confident, successful women, the amount of narcism in the perspective you are giving is pretty gnarly.
Another issue is that when you tell people to be selfish and narcissistic because they are strong, beautiful women
(or men, but generally we are taught not to brag/condescend/be narcissistic), is that you cause them to think being selfish and constantly changing their lives in hopes to attain something better, and then, 10 years down the line they realize that all they did was avoid what was making them unhappy. But at that point, the beauty is fading and the options are drastically minimized in comparison to 10 years prior and you realize you're fucked and have to settle for something worse than if you had just dealt with the source of your unhappiness and non contentment in the first place.
I don't understand the need to feel pretty at all though, and I am happy with my fiance when she is happy with herself, and if that means she needs to put on makeup or whatever then cheers to her, but I think there is a better way to address poor confidence and self worth in children, entirely avoiding this situation later in life.
The problem is telling women they can't be selfish or appreciate themselves because it is wrong. I feel like calling it narcissism is unfair, why is it wrong for me to appreciate the fact that I think I am a pretty individual? Why is wrong for me to document a day that I felt particularly beautiful? Why is it wrong for want to take time for myself? I am assuming you think that I mean you should act this way 100% of the time and let vanity run your life, I do not believe that, but I do believe in worshipping yourself. How can you feel confident and go out and get what you want unless you worship your own being? That does not mean you have to be covered head to toe in makeup and the finest clothes, it simply means that you are fully happy with your self. You don't have to build a shrine of yourself to worship your own body.
Well, for me, my confidence stems from what I am capable of and being able to do all of the things that make me happy. I don't look in mirrors super often, have never felt the need to be pretty, nor does my phone or camera contain any selfies/photos of just myself at all. I don't think that women can't be selfish or shouldn't feel pretty. In fact, I feel that everyone should be content with who they are, and everyone needs to be selfish at some points in their lives.
I'm talking about almost every girl I know and the fact that I can take any of their phones, go through their photos, and find more selfies/nude pics/self-degrading shit that they may or may not have taken and sent to other people for gratification. Does that really make anyone feel pretty? It seems more objectifying to me personally, and I don't really know where it stems from, but I do not think it is good for anyone to be getting their self satisfaction that way.
IMO, you need to find things and people in life that make you feel pretty and confident just by being around them, and if you don't know the types of people I am talking about, you haven't met the right ones yet. While I agree, confidence is an internal thing, I think the way we as a society teach our girls/women to look for outside gratification is a big problem.
I think it is awesome you are that way! I love that about people, we can all be ourselves and be confident however we are. If that is how you are as a person, that is awesome, but I do not feel it is fair that some look down on others who may not act the same.
A lot of times what you call the problem stems from a self-confidence issue. Sure there are women out there who do all of those things, the part that people seem to miss out on is that it is none of our business why they do it. One of the biggest problems I see consistently is that we try to make everything our own business. If you are a happy person, not your circus not your clowns. On the flip side, maybe they do it for them selves and not gratification at all.
It is no one's job to tell anyone else how to make themselves feel pretty. If you looked at my phone there would be selfies, there would be nude photos, most of which I have never sent someone. I am married, so maybe you see that as different, but I don't. I don't take a nude photo to send to my husband (or anyone else for whatever idea that may conjure up in your head), sometimes I take them because I think I look good and want to be able to remember how I felt that day. Good enough to take a picture of myself naked.
I know a lot of girls who do exactly what you are talking about, post things/photos/whatever for reassurance that they are in fact pretty, but it's not really our job to tell them they can't. Maybe they have low self-confidence and need to hear it.
Now that that is all said, I will agree with you how our society works. It is frustrating to look at magazine covers that tell me how I need to look/do my makeup/dress. I'm most often the exception to the rule, and I know that these magazines do attract a lot of women. This is not teaching women to worship their own body, but it's teaching them to worship the body of a model/actress that is air brushed and photoshopped, that is a problem. It is our job as the adult figures to teach our children to appreciate themselves and not worry about what others look like. It is not easy, it never will be because the media does run the world, not girls as beyonce would like us to think.
I agree with you, that no one should tell anyone how or why to feel a certain way, I just think that a lot of the times, people in general(but women in particular) tend to choose a path thats easier to get attention, rather than doing what actually would give them the confidence they desire.
Also, side note. You should remember that men/women's minds work completely different, so it it doesn't really come into play how your mind may work compared to a female's.