@clayboyn the question you are asking is personal one which I can't answer as I don't know you personally. Even if I knew you I wouldn't feel uncomfortable to discuss this on an open forum as issues of confidentiality would have to be considered. If I may suggest an avenue of reflection for you is to approach your question in a different way. Try to get in touch with your feelings that are underneath your opinion about the issue. You might discover something new about yourself.