Why the Stormy Daniels Story Keeps Escalating: A Thirteen-Step Guide

in #life6 years ago

Davidson-Sorkin-Stormys-New-suit-against-Cohen.jpg
The scandal won’t go away, largely because Donald Trump and his lawyers have propelled it forward. Here’s how they have managed it so far:

  1. Go to a celebrity golf tournament, and decide how to spend your free time. You could just watch an old movie, and end the story there; if not, go to Step 2.

  2. At the first sign that a woman has a story to tell, treat her as an enemy.
    Or have your lawyer take care of that. In 2011, Michael Cohen, a lawyer at the Trump Organization, got a call from Life & Style magazine, seeking comment on an account of an alleged affair from Stormy Daniels, a.k.a. Stephanie Clifford. Cohen threatened to sue, former employees at the magazine told “60 Minutes,” so the magazine backed down, and didn’t give Clifford the fifteen thousand dollars it had offered. A few weeks later, Clifford alleges, a man who her lawyer later refers to as a “goon” approached her in a Las Vegas parking lot, while she was taking her baby out of a car seat, and issued a threat, in which he invoked Trump’s name, and added, “That’s a beautiful little girl. It’d be a shame if something happened to her mom.” If it’s true, and if Cohen had any knowledge of it—which he denies—it’s quite a way to destroy any good will that might exist.

  3. Spend five years ignoring reality. In this case the reality that, via gossip sites, the basics of the story are made public.

  4. When you run for President, be sure to claim that women who may have such stories about you are liars. Put aside questions that, by exposing them to the anger of your supporters, you are practically obliging them to defend themselves. When, in the resulting public conversation, there are murmurs that Clifford might speak, have your lawyer pursue a hush agreement in exchange for a payment of a hundred and thirty thousand dollars.

  5. Threats involving big numbers are more your style than legally grounded ones. Include a provision saying that the “liquidated damages” would amount to a million dollars for each time that Clifford violates the agreement. Your lawyer seemingly ignores the restrictions on using liquidated damages in this way, for a contract such as this, which may make the provision unenforceable. But knowledge of such arcana—that is, the basics of the law—is not the first thing you look for in a lawyer.

  6. Some lawyers would draft such an agreement in a way that does not require your signature. Not your lawyer! Instead, several provisions effectively render the agreement invalid unless you personally sign the agreement, albeit using an alias, “David Dennison,” specified in a side letter that you also have to sign, this time with your real name.

  7. Don’t bother to sign it. Your lawyer got the money to Clifford less than two weeks before the election. We’re done here, right?

  8. But do you know exactly what your lawyer is doing? The Wall Street Journal reports that Cohen had trouble getting you on the phone during this period. Yes, you are running for President. But put aside the thought that this might be a moment to be careful about who is handing out money to whom in your name.

  9. When your lawyer starts telling implausible stories about the deal, let him keep talking. It’s January, 2018. The Wall Street Journal has published a story about the hush agreement. Cohen says that he put up the money for it in a “personal transaction,” which, if true, will trigger questions about (a) whether the payment is an undeclared in-kind campaign contribution, and (b) whether he is violating his ethical obligations to his client by acting without his authority, or (c) whether he or you defrauded Clifford by pretending that you had agreed to everything—including commitments, written into the agreement, that under certain circumstances you won’t sue her. Cohen has been interviewed in the Russia investigation, and he is someone whom Robert Mueller, the special counsel, might be interested in trying to flip if he sees that Cohen is in legal jeopardy. But Cohen is totally loyal to you, so why worry?

Also, stand by while Cohen says, “Just because something isn’t true doesn’t mean that it can’t cause you harm or damage,” thus suggesting that Clifford is a liar—that’s sure to make her go away. Cohen adds, “I will always protect Mr. Trump,” which you always like to hear.

  1. Let your lawyer take actions that guarantee that your involvement in the hush agreement will come to light. By now, the interview from 2011, which was not covered by the hush agreement, has been published, in InTouch. This might be the moment to let things go. Instead, Cohen gets a restraining order from an arbitrator threatening Clifford with one of those million-dollar penalties if she talks. (But see Step 5.) As a bonus, a second Trump Organization lawyer files some of the papers for Cohen.

  2. Don’t think about what her next move might be. You’ve threatened Clifford with a million-dollar penalty, and, for some reason, she is trying to fight you, and asking a California court to void the agreement. Her new lawyer has attached a copy of the hush agreement to that filing. He’s also noticed that you didn’t sign it.

  3. Make it twenty million dollars, then! Hire more lawyers, and have them not only join Cohen’s effort to enforce the agreement but ask to move the case to federal court—where, your filing says, you will pursue all legal remedies. Put aside the thought that legal remedies often involve things like discovery and depositions. And, by asking to move the case to federal court, you give Clifford an opening to file an amended complaint: the new version includes a defamation claim against Cohen and arguments about possible campaign-finance violations.

  4. Maybe just call her a liar? Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House spokesperson, doesn’t comment on whether you watched Clifford on “60 Minutes,” but does say that you think that everything Clifford said on the show was untrue. Sanders also confirms that you and Cohen had dinner the night before the broadcast. But you haven’t tweeted about Clifford by name—not yet.

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Hey there, I'm Oatmeal Joey Arnold, and Stormy is pretty at least. But I love Trump more.

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