That's a brave thing to do, I guess that was not easy at all, coming forward with that story that is so personal and so painful for you. I guess it's good that people should know this though, because I can imagine otherwise people would constantly tell you: what a shame that he did this to himself.. or something in that order.. That may be very awkward to deal with.. You are a brave woman, and I think you should just vent when you feel you need to, everyone needs that from time to time.. and I find writing more healing than going to a therapist actually. I've done lots of my own healing myself by writing and selfreflection.. not there yet though ..
Big hug to you!
Thank you @anouk.nox is very much appreciated! I just needed to vent, and yes you are exactly right. I made the mistake of scrolling through Facebook (not thinking) and STILL saw messages offering sympathy, even now with the knowledge of who he was etc. I guess it was mainly for my nan.. she obviously never asked for any of this, which I get, but there's still a lot of uncertainty, but I give up trying to rationalize with myself, and just continue being the best I can be and know that myself and others are safe.
Thank you for stopping by, and I agree with you about writing. I hope you find peace very soon, best wishes and hugs to you!